A bachelor, a doctor and a master enter a bar. The bachelor isn’t single, the doctor doesn’t heal, and the master isn’t a leader. Although they outnumber Bill Maher, they can barely finish a sentence if not their intended paragraph. His tendency to interrupt on his podcast has been an on-going criticism since its inception in March 2022. Two years ago, Bill had the gall to tell John Fogerty that he didn’t care about his early years as a musician. If more guests knew what Bill was like then they could interrupt him by finishing his thoughts. He will have on the occasional guest who tells him that they have seen episodes of Club Random. With such a wide range of guests, it should not be so repetitive. I will present most of the common talking threads that Bill has which are ripe for interruption…

Even when Bill was a child, he hated children. At the age of 8, he had a gay English teacher who encouraged him to be a comedian. When Bill was 13, he find out that his mother didn’t go to church with the rest of the family because she was Jewish. When Bill was 17, he was dumped by his girlfriend. Despite proclaiming to have been raised in a middle-class household, Bill began selling weed at college and during his initial two years in New York when he was starting out as a stand-up comedian. Bill doesn’t like New York that much. He prefers to live in a house than an apartment (or what he calls “a building”). The other issue that Bill has with New York was that the women were not as enthralled with him as the ones in Los Angeles; not that California is without its problems.

When he tried to put in a garage door, Bill had to have three inspections. This was symbolic because the house that he purchased came with a “three car garage” that could only fit two cars. Bill was raised in New Jersey, so he could live there instead considering that he regards California as overtaxed and overregulated. However, California has more celebrities and beautiful women. Even better if there is a comedian who is both. Unlike other comedians, Bill believes that there is such a thing as a bad audience. He is humble enough to admit that there is a bad way of dealing with a bad audience. Bill doesn’t like it when people claim that they have no regrets because they must not have lived and learned. In Bill’s case, he was always so hard on himself because he is a perfectionist.

When he was a young man, Bill didn’t think that he was attractive enough but it’s only with the benefit of hindsight that he realized he was. Bill thinks that it is damning with faint praise if you tell an old person that they look great because the unstated sentiment is that they look good for their age. For him, the sadness of ageing is that his mind is in its prime even though his body isn’t. Bill thought he was so stupid when he was young. He thinks most young people are stupid, yet he was surprised to find Gen Z worse than Gen Y. Whenever Bill expresses an opinion that young people find controversial, they use his age as a weapon by joking that he belongs to the “Get off my lawn” demographic. Bill says that his podcast isn’t supposed to be a retread of his Real Time show for HBO, but politics is a regular discussion point on Club Random.

When talking to younger people about Kamala Harris running for president, Bill would tell them that he voted for her as well but they were responsible for her losing. The difference being that Bill is liberal, and that they are extreme leftists. In the eyes of an extreme leftist, Bill comes off as a conservative. He doesn’t like most young people because they are either sensitive to a fault or weak-willed, which includes not feeling like coming into work because they feel slightly off. His issue with woke people is that they regard the modern era as being the worst era to live in, discounting the many luxuries that are abound in comparison to centuries past. Bill’s stance is that while some issues have to be dealt with, the world has improved in many areas. One such example is race relations.

In spite of dating so many black women, Bill thinks little of people who criticize the racial limitations of vintage entertainment from a modern perspective. One difference between the past and present is his ability to watch very long films. He doesn’t have time to watch films in one sitting. When talking to film personnel, Bill likes to impart that coming up with a premise is easy but coming up with an ending is difficult. On his supposedly non-political podcast, Bill proudly reminds people of his impartial reputation of being just as critical of people on the left as he is of those on the right. When people come up to Bill to ask him what to do about Donald Trump, he tells them to go back to their table and enjoy their meals. His presidency is not going to make them live like they are in a third world country.

Bill dined with Donald at the White House, so the left called him a traitor. In Bill’s opinion, Trump is not a crazy person who lives in the White House but a White House resident who plays a crazy person on TV. Bill is obsessed with the fact that he never laughs. Although not as rich as the president, people are surprised at how much money that Bill has. He likes to brag that he doesn’t waste it on drugs, expensive collections, gambling and hookers. This extends to his love life. Bill didn’t want to get married and risk losing his money to children or alimony. His belief on marriage is that he doesn’t see why the government should get involved with his love life. Bill believes that there are two kinds of men who don’t marry - those who hate women and those who love them too much. Bill loves them too much but he doesn’t think it is healthy to dine before sex.

Like Henry Rollins (who is also a friend of Janeane Garofalo), Bill believes that a partner’s problems become your problems. One such problem is having a threesome because there is always going to be someone who is jealous. Bill thinks that the 69 position is overrated. As he gets older, music is more of a hobby than sex is. Bill often talks about the sex appeal of music, which is why he thinks that the music industry didn’t have the same scrutiny that other areas of the entertainment world had when the Me Too movement happened. In his opinion, what happened in the music industry is far more worse. Bill thinks that it is the epicenter of the problem. In his estimate, r*p€ is like a speeding ticket in the music industry. Sadly, he did not discuss this with Sharon Osbourne.

Whenever he gets the chance, Bill dismisses the lyrical qualities of The Beatles. At the same time, he is quick to note that good lyrics can not compensate for passable music. Back to The Beatles, any conversation about them involves Bill reminding people that Yoko Ono wasn’t that much of a divider between John Lennon and Paul McCartney. When Bill interviewed Tommy Lee, he didn’t pick up on the connection between The Beatles and Motley Crue having conspiracy rumours about their bassists being replaced by lookalikes.

All about ‘60s-born actresses. Catherine Zeta-Jones kissed Rooney Mara in Side Effects (2013) and Jenny Pellicer in Cocaine Godmother (2018). Kristy Swanson kissed Jennifer Connelly in Higher Learning (1995) and Brandy Ledford in Zebra Lounge (2001). CZJ and Kristy acted together in The Phantom (1996). Famke Janssen kissed Kelly Preston in Eulogy (2004), Joely Richardson in Nip/Tuck (2004), Viola Davis in How to Get Away with Murder (2015) and Katharine McPhee in Bayou Caviar (2020). Joely Richardson kissed Jodhi May in Sister My Sister (1994) before kissing Portia De Rossi in Nip/Tuck (2007). Ally Sheedy kissed Patricia Clarkson and Radha Mitchell in High Art (1997). Radha previously kissed Frances O’Connor in Love and Other Catastrophes (1996).

Kathy Griffin kissed Mariska Hargitay in Law & Order: SVU (2010). Debi Mazar kissed Janeane Garofalo in a TV series called Younger (2015-2021) where Debi also kissed Nicole Ari Parker, Molly Bernard, Michelle Hurd and Sally Pressman. Elsewhere, Debi kissed Chiara Mastroianni in Nowhere (1997). The bisexual Margaret Cho kissed the equally bisexual Anna Nicole Smith on the latter’s self-titled reality show in 2002. Cho also kissed Hye Yun Park in High Maintenance (2019). Lisa Edelstein kissed Kristin Dattilo in Relativity (1997). Sarah Jessica Parker kissed Alanis Morissette in Sex and the City (2000) and Ali Wentworth in Nightcap (2016). Kari Wuhrer kissed Farrah Forke in Kate’s Addiction (1999).

Daphne Rubin-Vega played a lesbian for the film adaptation of In the Heights (2021). The actress who played her girlfriend, Stephanie Beatriz, has worked with Daphne on two other projects - Reverse the Curse (2023) and Hazbin Hotel (2024). In 2015, Rosie Perez denied being a lesbian but didn’t deny being a bisexual when talking about how she acted on her infatuation with a fellow student as a teenager. Robin Weigert kissed Cleo Gray, Mimi Ferraro, Erika Latta and Maggie Siff in Concussion (2013). Maggie looks like the sapphic Constance Zimmer, so perhaps she was cast because Constance was unavailable. Robin Weigert also kissed Kim Dickens in Deadwood (2006). Monica Bellucci kissed Elina Lowensohn in Mauvais Genre (1997) and Lavinia Longhi in Wild Blood (2008). Alexandra Paul kissed Karri Bowman in Breaking Up Really Sucks (2001).

Kim Raver kissed Sherri Saum, Sophia Bush (who has a girlfriend in real life) and Rya Kihlstedt in Grey’s Anatomy. Sherri Saum kissed Teri Polo in The Fosters, and a spin-off series called Good Trouble. Teri then kissed Elizabeth Gillies in Spread (2024). Virginia Madsen kissed Mathilda May in Becoming Colette (1991). Virginia is a friend of Helen Hunt, who used to have lesbian rumours (as reported in The Advocate circa 2005). One such rumour involved getting intimate with Gillian Anderson, who came out as bi in 2015. In the previous year, Gillian kissed Archie Panjabi in an episode of The Fall. Back to the sister of Michael Madsen, Virginia has a friend who played a lesbian in two shows i.e. Brenda Strong appeared in one-off episodes of Rizzoli & Isles (2010) and All Rise (2020).

Garcelle Beauvais kissed Lexa Doig in The Arrangement (2017). Sherilyn Fenn kissed Kelly Hu during an episode of In Plain Sight (2009), and played a bisexual in Three of Hearts (1993). Laura Harring kissed Melissa George in Mulholland Drive (2001) and Jill Marie Jones in Drool (2009). Mary-Louise Parker kissed Rachel Griffiths in When We Rise (2017) and Olga Sosnovska in Weeds (2011). Jennifer Jason Leigh had a recurring role in the latter series, which ended in 2012. In 2013, Jennifer and Anna Torv starred in a pilot where they played a lesbian couple. Titled Open, it was produced by Ryan Murphy for HBO. It’s never been explained why it never got picked up. 2013 was the year that Jennifer Jason Leigh divorced Noah Baumbach.

Laura Dern kissed Ellen DeGeneres in Ellen (1997). The openly bisexual Joely Fisher also kissed Ellen in the series. Also openly bisexual is Bai Ling, who is bilingual. She had a threesome with Lexi Belle and Zoey Monroe in Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance (2015). Jami Gertz kissed Sybil Darrow in Lip Service (2001). Sybil is not to be confused with Sybil Danning, and the film is not to be confused with the BBC TV series that came after The L Word ended in 2009. Julie Benz kissed Dana Delany in another TV series, Desperate Housewives. Dana is not to be confused with Kim Delaney. Dina Meyer kissed Andee Frizzell and Michele Hicks in Deadly Little Secrets (2001). Dina also kissed Lindsay Hartley in Evil Doctor (2018).

2000 was a big year for lesbianism in Hollywood since Brooke Shields mentioned in an issue of The Advocate that she found women to be a very attractive alternative to men. That year, there was a short-lived series called Talk to Me where one episode involved Kyra Sedgwick dating Paulina Porizkova. In 1999, viewers could see Calista Flockhart kiss Lucy Liu in Ally McBeal. The episode was called Buried Pleasures, which perfectly describes closeted people. In 1998, viewers saw Calista kiss Jane Krakowski and Courtney Thorne-Smith in two separate episodes. Sarah Buxton kissed Brooke Langton in Listen (1996). They were still friends in 2008. Traci Bingham is a friend of Bai Ling. On screen, Traci kissed Blair Stevens in The Private Public (2001). Off screen, Traci kissed Bai Ling.

Edie Falco kissed Sepideh Moafi in I’ll Be Right There (2024). Sepideh was one of the main actresses in The L Word: Generation Q.

Brittany Murphy and Penelope Cruz were at the White Lotus club in November 2004. The event was an after party for AFI’s premiere of Pedro Almodóvar’s Bad Education. This article is all about ‘70s-born actresses. Penelope kissed Charlize Theron for Head in the Clouds (2004) and Milena Smit in Parallel Mothers (2021) whereas Brittany kissed Reese Witherspoon in Freeway (1996) and Kerry Washington in The Dead Girl (2006). Off set, Brittany was taped kissing Winona Ryder in more than once occasion. The latter kissed Sadie Frost in Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992), Ingrid Rogers in Celebrity (1998), Angelina Jolie in Girl, Interrupted (1999) and Marin Ireland in The Letter (2012). Mena Suvari kissed Caterina Murino in The Garden of Eden (2008), Alexandra Breckenridge in American Horror Story: Murder House (2011), Annapurna Sriram in South of Hell (2015) and Lena Hall in Becks (2017). Lauren Ambrose kissed Mena in Six Feet Under (2004), Joelle Carter in Swimming (2000) and Tawny Cypress in Yellowjackets (2023).

Heather Graham has kissed so many women in productions that her off-screen sexuality speaks for itself. She kissed Lisa Zane in Terrified (1996), Jessica Stroup in Broken (2006), Bridget Moynahan in Gray Matters (2006), Jaime Winstone in Boogie Woogie (2009), Ashley Kinshaw in About Cherry (2012), Carrie Anne-Moss in Compulsion (2013), Reyna de Courcy in Wetlands (2017), Anna Camp in Desperados (2020) and Barbara Crampton in Suitable Flesh (2023). Ione Skye is bisexual, so her kiss with Bahni Turpin for Girls in Prison (1994) was not a surprise. Tricia Helfer kissed Naja Hill in Open House (2010), Lauren German in Lucifer (2020) and Alison Brie in Spin Me Round (2022). Kathryn Hahn kissed Gwen Parker in Bad Moms (2016), Katie Kershaw in Mrs. Fletcher (2019) and Aubrey Plaza in Agatha All Along (2024). Kate Beckinsale kissed Frances McDonald in Laurel Canyon (2002) whereas Elizabeth Banks kissed Alicia Witt in Wainy Days (2008).

Diane Kruger kissed Léa Seydoux in Farewell, My Queen (2012), Kristen Stewart in JT LeRoy (2018), Kiernan Shipka in Swimming with Sharks (2022), Chase Sui Wonders in Out of the Blue (2022) and Marta Nieto in Visions (2023). Piper Perabo kissed Jessica Paré in Lost and Delirious (2001) and Lena Headey in Imagine Me & You (2005). Jaime Pressly kissed Tiffani Amber Thiessen in Fastlane (2003), and Alysson Hannigan at the MTV Movie Awards in 1999. Katheryn Winnick kissed Mirelly Taylor in Kiss Me Again (2006) and Summer Glau in Wu Assassins (2019). Rebecca Mader kissed Laura Benanti in Starved (2005) and Marsha Thomason in White Collar (2012). Jessica Chastain got sapphic with Frances Fisher in Jolene (2008) and kissed Nicole Beharie in Scenes from a Marriage (2021). Linda Cardellini kissed Natalie Morales in Dead to Me (2022) and Katherine Moennig in No Good Deed (2024). Linda also kissed Sarah Michelle Gellar in a deleted scene of Scooby-Doo (2002).

Uma Thurman kissed Maria de Medeiros in Henry & June (1990), Rain Phoenix in Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (1993) and Maggie Q in The Con is On (2018). Anna Faris kissed Angela Bettis in May (2002) and Amy Matysio in Just Friends (2005). Erin Cummings kissed Julia Voth in B!tch Slap (2009) after kissing Michelle Wolff in a LGBT series titled Dante’s Cove (2006). Danneel Ackles kissed Hayley Marie Norman in Fired Up (2009) and Leighton Meester in The Roommate (2011). Krista Allen kissed Brande Roderick in Baywatch (2001) and January Jones in Anger Management (2003). She also kissed women in the Emmanuelle in Space miniseries (1994). Peta Wilson kissed Gina Torres in an episode of La Femme Nikita (1998). Gina kissed Missi Pyle in an episode of The Catch (2017). Missi shared a kiss with Angie Harmon in an alternate take for an episode of Rizzoli & Isles (2010). Constance Zimmer kissed Audra Griffis in Love Bites (2011), Emma Kenney in Shameless (2020) and Missi in Shelter (2023).

Emmanuelle Chriqui kissed Malin Akerman in Entourage (2006), Adrianna Palicki in Elektra Luxx (2010) and KaDee Strickland in Shut Eye (2016). Amy Smart kissed Emmy Rossum in the U.S. version of the Shameless TV series. Carmen Electra kissed Amy Smart in Starsky and Hutch (2004) and Stephanie Blacker in I Want Candy (2007). One of Carmen’s friends is Denise Richards, who kissed Heather Locklear in Spin City (2001) and Frankie Shaw in Blue Mountain State (2010). In 2011, Denise told Howard Stern that she had an affair with a beautiful Hollywood actress. Rya Kihlstedt kissed Keeley Hawkes in Orphan Black: Echoes (2024), Sherri Saum in Grey’s Anatomy (2019), Katherine Moennig in Ray Donovan (2016), Lucy Punch in Elektra Luxx (2010) and Carla Gugino in Jaded (1998). Carla, who played Elektra Luxx, kissed Gaite Jansen in Leopard Skin (2022), Molly Parker in The Center of the World (2001), Cameron Richardson in Hotel Noir (2012) and Willa Fitzgerald in The Fall of the House of Usher (2023). Cameron and Carla kissed Lucy Liu in Rise: Blood Hunter (2007).

Elektra Luxx (2010) was clearly a literal labour of love seeing as how there are other actresses from the Entourage series besides Malin Akerman, Emmanuelle Chriqui and Carla Gugino. These additional actresses were Amy Rosoff and Melissa Ordway. Given the nature of the series, you would be forgiven for thinking that there would have been as many sapphic cameos as there were gay cameos in episodes of Will & Grace; but not even The L Word featured everyone despite a character having a chart showing how everyone is connected. Arden Myrin kissed Crista Flanagan more than once on Mad TV, Michaela Watkins in Hung (2011) and Erin Coker in The Exes (2015). Considering the resemblance, Crista missed an opportunity to play Sheryl Crow (or a facsimile of her) in a sketch piece. Jennifer Esposito kissed Joelle Carter in Just One Time (1998), who kissed Neve Campbell in When Will I Be Loved (2004), who kissed Denise Richards in Wild Things (1998), who kissed Courtney Sinclair in A Girl is a Gun (2017).

Denise Richards has never been photographed with Jenny McCarthy despite being in Scary Movie 3 (2003). Jenny was closer to Carmen than Denise is. In one of Jenny’s many memoirs, Bad Habits: Confessions of a Recovering Catholic (2012), she claimed to have participated in a drug-fuelled orgy with Playboy playmates in Hawaii. What lends credence to a potentially sensationalistic story is that two of her closest friends are bisexual - Chelsea Handler and Joely Fisher. One of Jenny’s friends, Rebecca Romijn, had cast and kissed Rie Rasmussen (an overly flirty bisexual) in Femme Fatale (2002). Another of Jenny’s friends, Joanna Krupa, kissed Kiersten Hall in InAPPropriate Comedy (2013). Last month, it was revealed on The Drew Barrymore Show that the host kissed Amanda Peet during a party at Carrie Fisher’s house. However, Amanda is so close to Sarah Paulson that the latter referred to her as being like her other husband or wife.

Riley Keough starred in Daisy Jones & The Six (2023). It’s a ubiquitous bearding method to have so many straight actresses kiss women on camera that it becomes difficult to identify genuinely sapphic actresses. It’s like that cliché where someone is chasing after somebody who blends in with a similarly-attired crowd. Millennials were in a unique position - they weren’t as guarded or tech-savvy as those that came after but they were more open than those that came before because of the liberal climate that they came of age in. Unlike the sapphic one-offs, Riley Keough kissed Jena Malone in Lovesong (2016), Kimberly-Sue Murray in The Girlfriend Experience (2016), Alicia Vikander in Earthquake Bird (2019) and Lily Gladstone in Under the Bridge (2024). Also, Riley romanced Juno Temple in a lesbian horror film called Jack & Diane (2012). Juno kissed Kathryn Hahn in a deleted scene of Afternoon Delight (2013), and Jodi Balfour in Ted Lasso (2023).

Because Ellen Page was the first choice for the role of Diane in Jack & Diane, it’s not a surprise that Juno Temple was cast since Ellen starred in a film called Juno (2007). Before Temple, Alison Pill was approached. Besides looking like Page, Pill is attracted to women. She later kissed Floriana Lima in The Family (2016), bisexual actress Sarah Paulson in American Horror Story: Cult (2017) and an unnamed actress in a deleted scene of Milk (2008). While Brie Larson has yet to kiss another woman on camera, the same can’t be said for Alison Brie. She kissed Azalea Davil in Born (2007), Sugar Lyn Beard in Drunk History (2019) and Aubrey Plaza in Spin Me Round (2022). In 2023, Alison came out as bi.

Zoe Lister-Jones came out as “queer” in February 2024, not on Valentine’s Day like Ellen Page ten years prior…but the day before Leap Year Day. Zoe kissed Loui Batley in Hollyoaks Later (2008), Whitney Cummings in Whitney (2011), Desi Lydic in Friends with Better Lives (2014) and Emily Hampshire in Slip (2023). Using the group search filter on Getty Images makes it easy to see all the sapphic actresses who have socialized with Zoe. The below event, a Los Angeles screening of Slip, is only one example. Other examples include Olivia Wilde, Tawny Newsome, Rhea Seehorn, Sophia Bush, Shannon Woodward, Chelsea Handler and Alia Shawkat. As for the women in the left photo below, they are Jodi Balfour, Zoe, Mae Martin, Jameela Jamil and Abbi Jacobson.

One of Dakota’s closest friends is Riley Keough (1). The latter and Haley Bennett (2) have worked with Juno Temple, so it’s natural that they would work together in The Devil All the Time (2020). Elizabeth Olsen (3) has also met Juno. Logan Browning (4) kissed Allison Williams in The Perfection (2018). Gillian Jacobs (5) kissed Brit Marling in Community (2011). June Diane Raphael (6) kissed Courtney Ford in NTSF:SD:SUV (2011), Janet Varney in Burning Love (2013) and Maria Bamford in Lady Dynamite (2016). Olivia Luccardi kissed Kayla Foster in The Deuce (2017), Aisha Dee in The Bold Type (2018) and Scout Taylor-Compton in Feral (2017).

Scout (7) kissed Landry Allbright in Getaway Girls (2017). Scout and Renee Olstead (8) acted in 13 Going on 30 (2004) and Feral, but they have been seen together many times in the interim. Going by her OnlyFans account, it’s fair to say that Renee has gotten intimate with women. Jillian Rose Reed (9) kissed women in Awkward (2011). Ashley Greene kissed Olivia Wilde in Butter (2011), Christina Ricci in Pan Am (2011), Eve Harlow in Rogue (2017) and Brooke Johnston in Accident Man (2018), so it shouldn’t be a surprise that she was cast in Twilight (2008) when you find out about the real-life sapphic preoccupations of Kristen Stewart and Nikki Reed.

At a New York fashion event in September 2015, you could see a rogues gallery of lady lovers at the front row: Bisexual Zelda Williams (10) kissed Lauren McKnight in Teen Wolf (2013) and Connor Kelly-Eiding in Locating Silver Lake (2018). Juno Temple has been photographed with Zelda in two occasions - 2010 and 2024. Analeigh “Lio” Tipton (11) had a sex scene with Marta Gastini in Compulsion (2016). Jessica Lowndes (12) kissed Rumer Willis in 90210 (2010) and Ashley Tisdale in Young & Hungry (2014). Gillian Jacobs (13) is someone who I’ve already addressed. Jamie Chung (14) kissed Frankie Shaw in Knife Fight (2012), Romy Rosemont in Resident Advisors (2015) and Kerry Washington in Unprisoned (2024).

Another group of sapphic celebrities attended a fashion event in a September except it was London in 2013. Juno Temple was among them but I want to focus on the others. Brit Marling (15) kissed Ellen Page in The East (2013). Léa Seydoux (16) became famous with her reel-length sex scene with Adèle Exarchopoulos in Blue is the Warmest Colour (2013). Rebecca Hall (17) later directed a lesbianic subtext film called Passing (2021). In 2018, Alexa Chung (18) spoke of being up for a lesbian romance; speaking as if she was a novice in that area. As you can discern, I suspect that Alexa has dabbled in the lady pool. In 2011, she was seen kissing a bi model named Daisy Lowe.

In the below photo, taken at another fashion event much earlier on, she can be seen on the far right. As for the others, minus the lady in red, they all have kissed women on set and off. Holliday Grainger kissed bi actress Anna Paquin in Tell It to the Bees (2018). Vanessa Kirby kissed Katherine Waterston in The World to Come (2021). Lana Del Rey is a singer who has kissed women off set, but her IMDB page is proof that one should distinguish acting credits from music videos i.e. she was credited as Lizzy Grant (an abbreviation of her real name) in a 2012 short called Poolside.

At fashion events, the line between being a model and actress is blurred. The celebs at the front row are as much the main spectacle as the models strutting their stuff. When you see seated celebs supposedly surveying the fashion, you are also seeing suitors eyeing up potential dates. After all, these fashion events don’t happen in tents; they happen in hotels. Cara Delevingne has straddled the worlds of acting and modelling much like how she straddles her women. By the way, I recommend a lesbian site called Autostraddle. Now that Cara has professionally entered the world of music, we will see more straddling from her.

All about ‘90s-born actresses. Eiza González (1) kissed Rosamund Pike in I Care a Lot (2020) and Emma Roberts (2) in Paradise Hills (2019). Before that, Emma kissed Janet Montgomery for In a Relationship (2018). She also kissed Annabelle Dexter-Jones and Kim Kardashian in American Horror Story: Delicate (2024). Off set, Emma has kissed other women. Billie Lourd kissed Jeanna Han in Scream Queens (2015) and Emma in American Horror Story: 1984 (2019). In 2022, Leven Rambin (3) directed a music video (Outlaw) where she played a lesbian. On Instagram, Leven posted a story featuring a photo from her much younger years where she kissed another woman. If you browse the Getty Images site, you will see photos of Leven being flirty with other women when she was in her late teens. When she was in her early twenties, she kissed Lydia Hearst for a Tyler Shields photo shoot involving Alex Pettyfer. Leven and Lydia had been friends for a few years by that point.

Chloe Bridges kissed Katie Stevens in Faking It (2014) and Haley Ramm in Worst. Prom. Ever (2011). A few years later, Haley kissed Gracie Dzienny, Aurora Perrineau and Dylan Gelula in a TV series called Chasing Life. One of the actresses in this was Leisha Hailey from The L Word. Haley also had a sex scene with Keke Palmer in Pimp (2018). Haley acted with Liana Liberato in Banana Split (2018) and Light as a Feather (2018). Liana kissed Adelaide Clemens in To The Stars (2019). Virginia Gardner (4) kissed Lyrica Okano in Marvel’s Runaways (2018) and Madison Rogers in 1923 (2022). Carly Chaikin (5) kissed Courtney Merritt in Suburgatory (2013) and Grace Gummer in Mr. Robot (2017). Rachel Brosnahan (6) kissed Kate Lyn Sheil in House of Cards (2014) and Carole Weyers in Manhattan (2014). Rachel also kissed Xiao Wang in I’m Obsessed with You But You’ve Got to Leave Me Alone (2014). Ironically, Rachel’s lookalike - Evan Rachel Wood - was the one who was cast in Ellen Page’s Into the Forest (2015).

Zoey Deutch (7) has kissed more women off set than on, but she did kiss Ruby Cruz in The Threesome (2025). Megan Slater kissed Emily Ratajkowski in Too Much (2025). In a 2013 photo shoot, Emily kissed Karlie Kloss (the ex-girlfriend of Taylor Swift). In 2022, Emily came out as bisexual. Nicole Fox kissed Mallory Moye and Nicole Buehrer in Ashley (2013) before kissing Alice Hunter in Girl House (2014). Emily Osment (8) kissed Sarah Bolger in Kiss Me (which premiered on July 5, 2014), Ashley Tisdale in Young & Hungry (which aired on July 9, 2014) and Briana Evigan (9) in Love is All You Need? (2016). In June 2022, Madison Davenport (10) came out as bi. This makes the below photo all the more intriguing when you factor in the far left presence of the aforementioned Eiza González. The event was the premiere of a short film by Robert Rodriguez, who is on the far right in the below photo. The short was originally titled Sock ‘em Dead before being retitled as Never Cry Dead. Between the four actresses, only Madison was in this.

Suki Waterhouse kissed Margarita Levieva in Future World (2018) and Ella-Rae Smith in Seance (2021). Alexa Nikolas never got to play a lesbian before her career ended in 2013 but she still became famous for kissing Vanessa Hudgens in more than one occasion back in 2011. Humberly González kissed women in Utopia Falls (2020), Ginny & Georgia (2021), Friends & Family (2023) and Paral’elles (2024). Elizabeth Gillies kissed Rebecca Naomi Jones in Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll (2016) and Ashley McClelland in Dynasty (2018). The twist about the latter kiss is that Elizabeth’s character was kissing a woman who looked like herself, so Ashley was a stand-in. In 2015, Liz got attention for kissing Ariana Grande (who refuses to officialize her stance on her sexuality despite leaving breadcrumbs in her lyrics and overall presentation). Lili Reinhart kissed Addison Timlin and Alyah Chanelle Scott in Hal & Harper (2025). She also kissed Camila Mendes in Riverdale (2017). Addison kissed Julia Schlaepfer in a spin-off to American Horror Story called American Horror Stories circa 2022.

Margaret Qualley (11) scored a hat-trick when she kissed Rebecca Dayan in Novitiate (2017), Geraldine Viswanathan in Drive-Away Dolls (2023) and Aubrey Plaza in Honey Don’t (2015). Maya Hawke (12) kissed Talia Ryder in Do Revenge (2022). Wallis Day kissed Meagan Tandy in Batwoman (2021) and Skai Jackson in Sheroes (2023). Sydney Sweeney kissed Peyton Kennedy in Everything Sucks (2018), Otmara Marrero in Clementine (2019) and Bella Podaras in Euphoria (2026). Natalia Dyer kissed Julia Garner in I Believe in Unicorns (2014) and Rachel Keller in Chestnut (2023). Sophia Ali kissed Rita Volk in Faking It (2014), Sofia Black-D’Elia in The Mick (2017), Lucy Hale in Truth or Dare (2018) and Jasmin Savoy Brown in Goddamnit (2022). María Pedraza has yet to crack the American market despite kissing women in La Casa De Papel (2017), Amar (2017), Elite (2018), Poliamor Para Principiantes (2021) and Urban: La Vida Es Nuestra (2023).

Kaitlyn Dever kissed Diana Silvers in Booksmart (2019) and Cleopatra Coleman in Dopesick (2021). Diana kissed McKaley Miller in Ma (2019) and Kristine Froseth in Birds of Paradise (2021). Danielle Campbell kissed Zelda Williams in Shrimp (2018) and Paulina Singer in Tell Me a Story (2018). Paulina was in Shrimp. The bi Emily Skeggs kissed Chloë Moretz (a lesbian) in The Miseducation of Cameron Post (2018) and Caitlin Gerard in When We Rise (2017). In the latter, Emily also kissed the bi Fiona Dourif. Katherine McNamara kissed Natalie Martinez in The Stand (2021) and Arienne Mandi in Love, Classified (2022). Arienne was in The L Word: Generation Q, which ended in January 2023.

Samara Weaving and Margot Robbie have more in common than looking alike. They are Australian actresses who acted in the same film - Babylon (2022). They have also kissed other women on camera. In Babylon, Margot kissed Li Jun Li. In The Babysitter (2017), Samara kissed Bella Thorne. In Bad Girl (2016), Samara kissed Australian actress Sara West. The latter has a butch director girlfriend named Harry Lloyd, who even wrote and directed a short film called Butch (2019). Below are more examples of Aussie actresses having sapphic connections…

Emily Browning (1) kissed Megan Ketch and Maura Tierney in the same episode of The Affair (2018). Emily also kissed Yetide Badaki in an episode of American Gods (2019). Another example of an Aussie actress kissing a Nigerian woman can be seen in Lovecraft Country where Abbey Lee Kershaw liplocked with Wunmi Mosaku. In the above photo, Emily Browning is being kissed by bisexual actress Juno Temple at the premiere of Sucker Punch (2011), whose cast features several actresses who have kissed other women (i.e. Jena Malone, Vanessa Hudgens, Jamie Chung and Carla Gugino). Befriending a straight woman can lead a bisexual woman to another. In 2007, Emily Browning met Dannii Minogue at the L'Oreal Fashion Festival in Melbourne. In 2010, Juno Temple and the bisexual Kylie Minogue acted in Jack & Diane where Kylie kissed Riley Keough.

In 2011, Juno was photographed alongside Emily at the Sucker Punch premiere in Los Angeles. Adelaide Clemens (2) is not mentioned in any of the Getty Images captions for Juno attending a Kari Feinstein event at the Andaz hotel in L.A. circa 2014. Nevertheless, Adelaide had sapphic moments in Generation Um (2012) and To the Stars (2019). In the former, she tongue-tipped Bojana Novakovic (3). The latter kissed fellow Aussie Peta Sergeant in an improv play called The Blind Date Project (2013). Peta played a lesbian in an Aussie TV series called Satisfaction (2007 - 2010) where she got it on with Samantha Tolj, Yesse Spence and Tanya Burne. Bojana Novakovic was also in this series. Back to the L’Oreal Fashion Festival in Melbourne, Emily Browning was seen with Stephanie McIntosh - one of the two actresses who participated in the first lesbian kiss in an Aussie soap drama called Neighbours (2004).

Last year, Emily worked with Claudia Doumit (4) on The Fox. In the above photo, they attended the Texas premiere in March of this year. Last decade, Claudia kissed Zoe Kanters in a series called Nasty Habits. In One More Shot (2025), Emily acted with an Aussie lesbian named Anna McGahan. Jessica De Gouw (5) kissed actresses outside of Australia in Dracula (2013), The Walk (2021) and The Couple Next Door (2023). Instead of being merely gay-for-pay, Jessica identifies as queer. In 2023, there was a Vogue article about her being in a relationship with a Sydney-based hairstylist named Sophie Roberts.

Rachael Taylor is another example of an Aussie actress who made people wait. She didn’t kiss bi actress Olivia Thirlby in The Darkest Hour (2011), but she did in White Orchid (2018). Sacha Horler (6) played a lesbian cop in Body Blow (2025). At the Sydney Film Festival last year, she was hugged by Krew Boylan (7). Krew and Zoe Ventoura (8) acted in Wild Boys (2011). The latter kissed Sarah Roberts in Home & Away (2019) and Kayla Radomski in More Beautiful for Having Been Broken (2019). Zoe’s kisses in the latter film may have been responsible for the former’s kiss being removed by the time that the Aussie soap drama aired. Krew Boylan kissed a bouffant-styled Rose Byrne (9) in Seriously Red (2022).

In 2017, Rose and Krew attended Tropfest in Sydney. Photographed beside them was an actress named Pia Miranda, who played two lesbians in Standing on Ceremony: The Gay Marriage Plays circa 2014. Krew and Rose can be seen together even earlier when Vanilla Sky (2001) was released in Australia. As for Pia, she was seen with Krew at the 2010 Inside Film Awards in Sydney. In tow was an actress named Jacinta Stapleton, who kissed Kate Kendall in Stingers (1998). Also accompanying the three actresses was the woman who later directed Seriously Red - Gracie Otto. She has directed episodes of two LGBT shows - Heartbreak High and Deadloch. During two days of a Sydney fashion event in 2013, Gracie could be seen with an actress named Phoebe Tonkin.

Phoebe has kissed more women off set than on e.g. Stella Maxwell (the ex-girlfriend of Miley Cyrus and Kristen Stewart). In the below 2025 photo with fellow Aussie actresses, Phoebe can be seen on the far right. Next to her is Aisha Dee, who kissed women in The Bold Type (2020), Look Both Ways (2022) and Accused (2023). Next to her is Jessica McNamee, who hasn’t kissed women on camera but is close enough of a friend to bi actress Ruby Rose that they attended an Ellie Goulding concert together right before they got involved with acting in The Meg (2018). As for the woman on the far left, Bella Heathcote kissed Rebecca Hall in Professor Marston & the Wonder Women (2017) then kissed both Lauren Maynard and Laura Mennell in The Man in the High Castle (2018).

One of Phoebe Tonkin’s closest friends is Claire Holt, who was born in Australia one year before Phoebe. Claire has kissed women in two U.S. TV shows - Pretty Little Liars (2011) and The Vampire Diaries (2013). Further down the line, she acted in a film with Aussie Alycia Debnam-Carey. The latter kissed Aussie Eliza Taylor in a U.S. TV series called The 100. Alycia became more popular when she acted in a TV series where her mother was played by a lesbian i.e. Kim Dickens in Fear the Walking Dead (2014). The other contender for the mother role was an Aussie named Anna Torv, who already had the experience of kissing other women in two TV shows (third time became the most charming well after Kim was cast). Back to Phoebe, she was also in Babylon (2022). What were the chances of her being cast in a film with two Aussies who are known for resembling each other?

One of Phoebe’s friends is an American actress named Britt Robertson. They acted together in The Secret Circle (2011). Many years later, Britt had a supporting role in a series called For the People where Aussie Caitlin Stasey kissed Susannah Flood. It wasn’t a fluke because Caitlin kissed women in All Cheerleaders Die (2013), Fantasy Island (2021) and Fall Risk (2024). In early 2021, she revealed that her girlfriend was a producer named Erin Murphy-Muscatelli. The connection between Phoebe Tonkin and Caitlin Stasey isn’t indirect because they were seen together at the 2010 Samsung Mobile AFI awards in Melbourne. Similar to Phoebe, Adelaine Kane has kissed more women off set than on. Like Adelaide Clemens, Kane attended a Kari Feinstein event at the Andaz hotel in L.A. (as seen below) except it was in 2017 instead of 2014.

On the subject of 2014, Adelaide Kane was photographed with a fellow Aussie actress (Eliza Taylor) at the CW Network's New York party in Paramount Hotel. As someone who is English, I often wondered why so many of my peers had this obsession about vacationing in Australia. There must be something in the water. Aussie celebrity Sophie Monk locked lips with Kristanna Loken in The Legend of Awesome Maximus (2011) and Amber Tamblyn in Spring Breakdown - a 2009 movie that is not to be confused with another of Sophie’s 2009 movies: Spring Break ‘83. 2009 was really her banner year because she also kissed Anya Lahiri in Life Blood.

Stella McCartney surpassed her mother, if not her father, in relevance. In the entertainment industry, Stella is an arbiter of fashion who has found herself to be in the orbit of many stars. If someone ever makes a film about her, Samantha Morton would be perfect because not only is she British and looks like her but she is also literally into women. Stella is married to a man, but there is a fine line between a woman who is secretly bisexual and a woman who uses a beard to hide the fact that she is a lesbian. Stopping short of bending the knee and kissing the ring, many female celebrities worship Stella. So many of these women are sapphic. I could list all of them, but I’ve already identified a good number of these women in past articles. Below are the rest who have come to be associated with Stella.

Two of her closest friends are Liv Tyler and Kate Hudson. In 2007, Liv lamented the tameness of their smooching scene in Dr. T & the Women (2000). Liv said: “Kate plays a woman who is about to get married and she’s completely in love with me. We were always so shy about the kissing but in retrospect we were like, ‘We so should have just totally made out and tongued each other’. But we never did, we were just too scared to do it.”

In 1999, Liv could be seen kissing bisexual actress Drew Barrymore on the red carpet at the 71st Academy Awards. This makes it not so much of a coincidence that lesbian actress Ellen Page went from working with Drew on Whip It in 2008 to working with Liv on Super in 2009. Last decade, Kate Hudson was reported to have engaged in a fling with Francesca Farago. A couple of years ago, Kate performed at the 35th annual GLAAD Media Awards at The Beverly Hilton.

Bi actress Gina Gershon is a friend of a bi model named Helena Christensen (1). Legend has it that Bono and his wife Ali Hewson were involved in a threesome with Helena, but it was more likely polyamory than a fling. Model Daisy Lowe (2) had uniquely described herself as a “mild lesbian” when admitting to being bisexual in a 2011 interview for the British edition of the GQ magazine. Like her model sister, Cara Delevingne, Poppy (3) is a model who has sexual experiences with both men and women. Examples of Poppy kissing women include Lady Mary Charteris, Georgia May Jagger, Erin O’Connor and Sienna Miller.

Speaking of kissing, Jessica Brown Findlay (1) kissed Liv Tyler in an episode of Harlots (2018). Kylie Bunbury played Jessica’s lover in a TV series called Brave New World (2020). Model/actress Lily Cole (2) prefers to be known as queer. Salma Hayek (3) had kissed women in the following productions: Timecode (2001), Frida (2002) and 30 Rock (2009). The first production was a film directed by Mike Figgis, whose girlfriend was a bi actress named Saffron Burrows. Their half-a-decade relationship ended in 2002. Timecode was one of four collaborations between the partners.

Amber Valletta (1) is so close to Shalom Harrow that she didn’t mind it when the latter groped her breasts in jest in Paris circa 2022. They’ve kissed each other in adverts, and they were roommates when they started out as models. This only served to confirm the rumours of them fooling around with each other back in the nineties. Back then, Shalom invited Kate Moss to their apartment. Many years later, Amber was seen kissing Kate at a Paris fashion show in 2019. Letitia Wright (2) played the same lesbian character in two 2015 TV shows: Banana and Cucumber. In 2023, it was reported that she was dating Eva Apio. The photos speak thousands of speculative words. Scarlett Johansson (3) kissed Penelope Cruz in Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008) and Freida Pinto in My Mother’s Wedding (2023). Scarlett was kissed by Sandra Bullock at the 2001 MTV Awards. When you see how intimate that Greta Gerwig (4) is with Saoirse Ronan, it’s not a surpise that she was Kate McKinnon’s roommate at Barnard College.

Helen Mirren (1) kissed Abby Elliott in Saturday Night Live (2011). That year, Abby could be seen kissing Vedette Lim in No Strings Attached. Helen previously kissed Kyra Sedgwick in Losing Chase (1996). Kyra kissed Julianna Margulies in What’s Cooking (2000). Kristin Scott Thomas (2) kissed women in Bitter Moon (1992), Tell No One (2006) and Fleabag (2019). Cate Blanchett (3) kissed women in Carol (2015) and Tár (2022). Any sapphic suspicions were justified at the 2024 Toronto film festival when Amy Adams was talking to a journalist. Cate clearly wanted to ravish Amy with passion when she decided to surprise Amy by kissing her right shoulder from behind. Imagine men doing that.

Besides actresses, we have singers. Reneé Rapp (1) proclaimed to be bisexual before coming out as a lesbian. Héloïse Letissier (2) is a bisexual who became a trans man named Rahim Redcar. Neneh Cherry (3) is bisexual. One of her friends is Ellen Von Unwerth, who is known for her sapphic photography. Selma Blair (4) kissed Sarah Michelle Gellar in Cruel Intentions (1999), Stana Katic in Feast of Love (2007) and Madelina Zima in The Family Tree (2009). Paloma Faith (5) believes that most women are bi. Not only did she play a lesbian in a TV series called Pennyworth (2019 - 2022), but she had a lesbian sex scene in an art film during the early stage of her career. You can’t find the film on IMDB, much like how Vanessa Kirby’s lesbian vampire film is not listed on her filmography. The lady-loving Juno Temple was in a film with Paloma, St. Trinian’s (2007). Beth Ditto (6) is a lesbian who had married her best friend from adolescence. The result was a marriage that lasted for not even half a decade.

Nathalie Emmanuel (1) kissed Daisy Turner in Twenty8k (2012), Britt Lower in Holly Slept Over (2020) and Chloe Fineman in Megalopolis (2024). Kate Bosworth (2) kissed Ashley Greene in The Immaculate Room (2022), and Liv Tyler off-screen in 2007. Kate could also be seen getting rather tender with Helena Christensen in other ways from 2006 to 2008. Naomi Watts (3) kissed Laura Harring in Mulholland Drive (2001), Andrea Riseborough in Birdman (2014) and Sophie Cookson in Gypsy (2017). In June 2015, Naomi turned heads when she locked lips with Nicole Kidman while wearing shower caps at the Women In Film’s Crystal + Lucy Awards.

Thandiwe Newton (1) has openly stated that she is bisexual. Maggie Gyllenhall (2) had kissed Ellen Barkin in Trust the Man (2005) and Alyssa Kempinski in The Deuce (2017). According to her IMDB page, Alyssa is bisexual. As for Ellen, it speaks volumes that she kissed bi actress Sharon Stone in 2007 during a Cinema Against AIDS event in Cannes. On screen, Ellen shared moments of intimacy with Lorraine Bracco in Switch (1991), Peta Wilson in Mercy (2000) and Anne Ramsay in Animal Kingdom (2016). One of Ellen’s friends is a lesbian actress named Holland Taylor. In 2015, they acted with Christopher Lloyd in a pilot called Hollywood Mom. In 2010, Ellen Page acted with Diane Keaton in a pilot called Tilda. With Ellen Barkin replacing Diane as Tilda, it could have been the Hacks of its time.

Drew Barrymore claimed to have made out with Chloë Sevigny in a hotel bathroom circa the late ‘90s. On screen, Chloë kissed Hilary Swank in Boys Don’t Cry (1999), Michelle Williams in If These Walls Could Talk 2 (2000) and Kristen Stewart in Lizzie (2018). As for Robin Wright, she kissed Anna Chancellor in The Girlfriend (2025). As she ages, Robin starts to resemble Charlotte Rampling. The latter never got the chance to have a sapphic love scene despite her many instances of on-screen nudity, including a film called The Flesh of the Orchid (1975). Such is her reputation for the pleasures of the flesh that it comes as a surprise that she didn’t get cast in the same film as Helen Mirren e.g. Caligula (1979). Charlotte is a year younger, and four years younger than Faye Dunaway (who didn’t want to participate in nudity when the producer of Caligula wanted to make Catherine the Great in the mid-nineties).

Sheryl Crow could never be accused of being homophobic.

Brittany Howard (1) came out as a lesbian at the age of 25. She was married to Jesse Lafser. The U-haul marriage resulted in a U-turn in the following year. Shelby Lynne (2) had to hide the fact that she was gay when cutting her teeth while putting her nose to the grindstone in Nashville circa the late eighties. Carly Simon must be kidding if she thinks being questioned on her sexual orientation is a rite-of-passage for all female artists. Half a year before she turned 64, Sharon Osbourne (3) admitted to being bisexual in April 2016. Knowing the nature of her husband’s lifestyle, there is no way that she hadn’t already acted on it (especially since she used to tour with him). She managed Lita Ford, who did a duet with Ozzy but is actually straight. Holly Robinson Peete (4) participated in the first lesbian kiss episode when she kissed Katy Boyer in 21 Jump Street circa 1989.

In this decade, Lucy Liu (5) became known for her sapphic paintings. In the February 1999 issue of Details, she claimed that everyone is bi, and that she had thought about dating women when relationships with men didn’t work. Drew Barrymore is bi, which would explain why Lucy was cast in Charlie’s Angels (2000). As for the remaining angel, Cameron Diaz has dabbled. Jewel Kilcher (6) came out by wearing a Playboy shirt, and it’s not like the bunny is the mascot for the Playgirl magazine. If Jewel likes rabbits, she could have worn a shirt showing Bugs Bunny. Bi singers Debbie Harry and Courtney Love were seen together at the Playboy Mansion in September 2000. In a 2023 interview for Pride Source, Jewel Kilcher talked about how there were more lesbians that she encountered in San Diego than Texas.

Joan Osborne (7) is one of those sapphic women who refuses to be labelled, but she hasn’t been known to date men. Elizabeth Hurley (8) was credited as “Liz Hurley” in her Getty-hosted photos with Sheryl Crow. While she was in New York circa 2024, Liz wore a dress that had the colours of the bisexuality flag. There have been talks of a spin-off to The L Word that takes place in New York, but Liz wasn’t even cast in the original series when it was trendy for celebs to do so. Examples included Heart, Peaches and Billie Jean King. In a May 1998 episode of Howard Stern’s show, Fiona Apple (9) admitted to being bi. Faye Dunaway (10) was seen at a lesbian bar in NoHo two decades ago. In 1976, she was photographed kissing Maria Schell at a hotel dinner in New York. As Faye got older, she resembled Lauren Hutton (who was alleged to have hooked up with Julie Christie in 1974).

Sarah McLachlan (11) insists on being straight despite not going beyond first base with another woman. Like Fiona Apple, Elisabeth Shue (12) thinks everyone is bi. She should have been more famous but most people ended up becoming more interested in her younger lookalike, Alicia Silverstone. In 1998, Shue was considered for the role that went to bi actress Anne Heche in The Third Miracle (1999). Much like how no-one had thought about pairing Jennifer Jason Leigh with Jason Scott Lee for a film, nobody considered casting Elisabeth Shue with Robin Shou. He had success with Mortal Kombat in 1995 while she had success with Leaving Las Vegas in that year. Elisabeth was in a film with a lesbian actress named Kim Dickens. After the release of this film, Hollow Man (2000), someone could have cast Kim to play Sheryl Crow in a biopic but the closest thing to her playing a rock star is Things Behind the Sun (2001).

In 2012, Jessica Lange (13) was seen dating Sarah Paulson. Jessica has a lookalike of sorts, Cybill Sheppard, who ended up being the one cast to play Phyliss Kroll in The L Word. Another actress who appeared in that series was Kelly Lynch (14), who played a lesbian in Three of Hearts (1993). It’s ironic that she replaced the straight Annette Bening as Patrick Swayze’s love interest in Road House (1989) because of chemistry. It should be noted that Kelly is taller than Annette. During the making of The Outsiders (1983), Swayze was self-conscious about his height. The producer of Road House, Joel Silver, described Lori Petty as looking like a “muff-diver” when explaining why she was fired from Demolition Man (1993). This makes the casting in Tom Cruise’s Cocktail (1988) seem contrived when you see Kelly Lynch, Elisabeth Shue and Gina Gershon. The latter’s surname was deliberately misspelt as Greshon in her Getty-hosted photos with Chelsea Clinton and Sheryl Crow.

Lara Fabian (15) is one of those celebrities who likes to describe themselves as an ally to the LGBT community instead of a participant. In January 2016, she was part of a big story involving photographer Olivier Ciappa spearheading an anti-homophobia campaign where supposedly straight celebrities played couples i.e. The Imaginary Couples. I say supposedly because Lara was photographed with Eva Longoria, who falls into the category of women who wish that they had a full-on lesbian experience. If Eva’s interview for the August 2006 issue of Playboy is anything to go by, 2016 was not much of a tenth anniversary for her. The kiss that she talked about having in 2006 was more graphic than what was seen in 2016. It wasn’t necessarily by chance for Lara and Eva to be coupled since they were already seen together at two Gala dinners in 2013 i.e. Paris in May and Spain in August.

From 2007 to 2009, Eva could be seen being chummy with Sheryl Crow. In 2007, Sheryl was seen being tight with another Eva i.e. Eva Mendes during the Entertainment Industry Foundation’s 14th Annual Revlon Run/Walk for Women at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in Exposition Park. Eva could be seen making out with Natasha Alam in The Women (2008). In a 2003 interview on The Howard Stern Show, Lisa Marie Presley (16) admitted to having a relationship with another woman when she was a teenager. She wasn’t 16; she was 17. In the July 2003 issue of Playboy, Lisa admitted that her life would have been much better if she was a lesbian. For herself and Tatum O’Neal to have been romantically involved with Michael Jackson is interesting when you consider that Tatum is also bi. In 2015, Tatum made it clear that she mostly dates women (albeit she made it clear that it came from a place of being a sapiophile).

Back to Lisa Presley, her father died years before she got together with another woman. Had he not died when he did, she would still have been the apple in his eye. Elvis had many gay and bi male friends that he didn’t mind being photographed with. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree when you look at Lisa’s daughter: Riley Keough. She is a bisexual who has played sapphic characters. Riley is more likely to be seen rocking the apple cart if she was to socialize with Paris Jackson - the daughter of Debbie Rowe: Michael Jackson’s second and final wife. Of particular note is Jack & Diane (2012). Riley’s co-star is someone with a different kind of rock music lineage in that Juno Temple’s father, Julien Temple, directed music videos that made him a rival to the likes of Marty Callner, Russell Mulcahy, David Mallet and Steve Barron.

When Lucinda Williams (17) wrote 2 Kool 2 Be 4-Gotten (a 1998 song), it was the night after she got drunk and kissed another woman at a bar. Kristen Henderson (18) married her girlfriend in 2011, and they are still wedlocked. They got married five months after New York legalized same-sex marriage. Two years later, both spouses were shown kissing on the cover of Time Magazine as part of a feature on homosexual marriage in the United States. It then took another two years for gay marriage to be approved of across the board in the U.S. This makes sense when you consider what happened in 2014 - a Hollywood actress came out of the closet i.e. Ellen Page. In the 2023 memoir titled Pageboy, this was made out to be disingenuous since Page came out as trans in 2020. The caveat is that when Page came out the first time, it was as “gay” instead of lesbian. Ironically, the G word had more of a stigma because it was used as a slur.

Dixie Chick Natalie Maines (19) named Rachel Maddow as her lesbian girl crush. It’s not a coincidence that Nat was selected to be the singing double for lesbian actress Kate McKinnon in The Simpsons. The season 27 episode was called Gal of Constant Sorrow. It was aired in May 2016. That was the year when Kate could be seen dating a fellow actress, Jackie Abbott. Holly Hunter (20) is photographed alongside Billie Jean King because Holly played her in a 2001 TV movie titled When Billie Beat Bobby. Since then, they were photographed together at several celebratory events of women’s sports in the following Octobers: 2001, 2002, 2007 and 2010. Billie was present when Holly was given a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in May 2008. Ten years later, Billie was with Holly at the U.K. premiere of Incredibles 2 in July.

Leaning into the theme more so is that September 2003 was when both women had attended a party that celebrated the success of Thirteen - a film starring two bi female teenagers, and directed by a bi woman. This bi director, Catherine Hardwicke, was going to direct a film adaptation of a comic book about a lesbian viking. Heathen was announced in July 2019, but it never materialized. In theory, the timing was perfect. Casting aside the apocalypse in the following year, Game of Thrones ended in May 2019. November 2019 was when there was an announcement for a Vikings spin-off called Valhalla. When it finally aired, it lasted from 2022 to 2024. The flagship series ended in 2021. The lack of lesbian content in the spin-off might have made Hardwicke think twice of pursuing the Heathen endeavour.

Many years ago, there was talk of a Caribbean island where sapphic celebs were flown to enjoy female prostitutes. The source of this information came from a forum about black celebrities - Lipstick Alley. Examples given of actresses were Tracee Ellis Ross and Kim Cattrall (21). I believe it because, in another thread altogether, Keke Palmer was outed way before she had outed herself. As for Kim Cattrall, she was outed by actress Caitlin O’Heaneay during the 15th anniversary reunion of Tales of the Gold Monkey. During the panel discussion, the cast talked of how lucky they were to get Kim to do a special appearance after her success with Porky’s (1981). Caitlin O’Heaney then said: “Well, I guess something from that movie must have rubbed off on her because after we finished filming, she asked me out. No, no, I mean it. I’m serious. She did.”

The above photos were taken in June 2003. The event was an after party in New York for the sixth season premiere of Sex and the City. This turned out to be the final season.

Photographer Stan Malinowski must have got a rise out of Andie MacDowell in December 1986. When these photos were taken, it was during her mysterious era where she didn’t get any acting work from 1985 to 1986 (although it has been said that she attended drama class before she bounced back with Sex, Lies, and Videotape in late 1988). Her son, Justin Qualley, was born in August 1986. When Andie finally got acting work in 1987, it was for an Italian miniseries called Secret of the Sahara. This aired in January 1988. In the March 1987 issue of a U.K. magazine called Company, it was stated that Andie had been working out for three hours every day since Justin was born so as to get back in shape for Secret of the Sahara. Financially, being a model kept her afloat.

Stan Malinowski helped her career just as much as she helped his since he had fallen afoul with the Playboy magazine. There was an issue over copyright ownership in the first half of 1986. The fuss surrounded what was intended for the June issue. It just so happens that one of Stan’s models, Kelly LeBrock, wanted to sue Playboy when they used a restrained nude shot as a two page spread in their June 1986 issue. Like with Andie MacDowell, Kelly’s lack of access in the acting world gave her the freedom to get pregnant. May 1987 being the date of arrival. 1987 also marked the emergence of Metro - a Stan Malinowski magazine about Chicago. In the special edition preview issue, No. 0, some of the interviewed celebrities were Lara Flynn Boyle, Marlee Matlin, Judge Reinhold and Robert Townsend.

Despite there being a feature on the Chicago Film Festival, there were no interviews with fellow Chicagoans Robert Zemeckis and John Hughes. The latter’s Some Kind of Wonderful was filmed in 1986 but, unlike his previous teen movies, there was no filming conducted in Chicago. John Hughes was a freelance writer for Playboy, and Weird Science (1985) featured a nude cameo from a playmate (Kym Malin). The Breakfast Club (1985) originally had a scene involving a naked gym teacher swimming until Molly Ringwald made John not film it. It’s not a coincidence that the two actresses who were cast to play Lisa in Weird Science (Kelly Emberg and Kelly LeBrock) were models photographed by Stan Malinowski. He had been a photographer for Playboy as far back as the sixties, but he eventually moved on to Penthouse where he worked with Anna Wintour.

Wintour went on to become editor-in-chief of Vogue, who Stan also photographed for. While at Vogue, the art directors (Rochelle Udell and Alexander Liberman) saw his photos in Penthouse and brought him in to shoot a spread. This led to assignments for high-brow magazines like Harper’s Bazaar and Cosmopolitan. Stan was entrusted to be the one to shoot perfume and make-up ads. By the time that it was 1990, his Metro mag was on its last legs, so he launched a new mag called Exeter. You would think that Stan would have been sought after by Rolling Stone or some other rock mag given some of his portfolio but then he would have needed to contend with the likes of rival photographers Ross Halfin, Anton Corbijn and Neil Zlozower. Regardless, there were many hard rock and heavy metal bands who would have killed to have Stan’s name listed on the liner notes as photographer (such was the importance of being a babe magnet).

After ten issues of Exeter, Stan Malinowski had a new zine called Vibrator. This was launched in 1993. By this point, Andie MacDowell was achieving success with her Bill Murray movie (Groundhog Day) and was about to embark on a new high with a Hugh Grant movie (Four Weddings and a Funeral). By comparison, Stan wasn’t exactly living it up. His copyright infringement lawsuit with Playboy didn’t pay dividends. He had incurred over $70,000 in legal fees, and initial estimates for making an appeal were set at $30,000. Stan was forced to liquidate assets to stay afloat after his lawsuit began in the late ‘80s. Someone should have hired him as a still photographer for films and TV shows. When the Femme Fatales magazine got going in 1992, someone should really have enlisted his services.

Although he became synonymous with Andie MacDowell, Stan Malinowski described Renée Simonsen as his all-time favourite model. You can read more of his comments on his website, Model Pix. What I will say is that Miss Simonsen wasn’t in his hour of need. In 1988, Renée wanted to take a break from the entertainment industry so as to focus on studying journalism. She should have stuck with Stan to get a grassroots perspective, since she ended up failing her course. Renée eventually returned to modelling. She is Danish like photographer Anton Corbijn. As for Stan, he could have reinvented himself as a photographer for the Hustler magazine because he worked as an art director for their first issue way back in 1974. Alternatively, Stan could really have stuck it to Playboy by working with their French rival - Lui (not to be confused with Playboy’s spin-off known as Oui).

While Renée Simonsen redefined herself as a psychology student, Stan Malinowski could have brushed up his knowledge on legal matters by studying law after losing the copyright to a number of his Playboy pictures. A talented photographer can become a successful cinematographer even more so if they bone up on the finer details of film contracts. While Renée became a student, Stan became a photography instructor by the time that the nineties were nearing their end. In 1997, an internet model named Tracey Walker-Kinkade teamed up with him to co-found a photography workshop service in Chicago. It ended in 2002, but the friendship didn’t if Facebook is anything to go by.

In 2011, a 73-year-old Stan Malinowski reinvented himself as a chef; so he definitely knew something about the cream rising to the top. Stan received a James Bread award for his efforts. In theory, this should have inspired him to do food-themed photo shoots with beautiful women. That would have been the cream of the crop, but he didn’t even have the foresight to write a book. In the November-December 2006 issue of American Photo, Stan proudly proclaimed: “I photographed just about every top model of the late ‘70s through the mid-80s. There are just three I missed: Sharon Stone, Kim Basinger and Brooke Shields. Even today I would love to photograph those women...perhaps now even more than when they were modeling.”

The above playmate was photographed for the September 1965 issue of Playboy. This photo had not been published in the magazine. If Stan Malinowski envisioned Heaven to be a place where pearly gates are surrounded by clouds, he could only have dreamed that the feathers of pillows came from angels with harps to match their halos.

Diane Lane, to be precise. She has been photographed with more queer women and queer-playing actresses than what I have displayed here. Kristen Stewart was her castmate in Griffin Dunne’s Fierce People (a 2005 film featuring Donald Sutherland). Years later, Kristin claimed that her favourite erotic movie was Unfaithful (2002). She then went on to say how much she loves Diane. In 2015, Diane starred in a play (The Mystery of Love & Sex) that was written by a British lesbian playwright (Bathsheba Doran). There is a lesbian novelist who appears to have some insider info. Katherine V. Forrest had a 1983 novel called Curious Wine, which is about a relationship between two women - one named Diane while the other is named Lane.

Diane Lane’s first credit as a screen actress was a film that was released in the first quarter of 1979, so there was enough time for herself to build a reputation by the time that it was 1983. As the decades went by, Diane became popular enough for people to cast the following lookalikes: Paige Turco and Sutton Foster. When she was young and blonde, Diane had a slight resemblance to Kathleen Turner. This might be why, after doing three films with Diane, Francis Ford Coppola directed Kathleen in Peggy Sue Got Married (1986). I suspect that Diane wasn’t cast simply because she went on a long hiatus after Coppola completed The Cotton Club in the spring of 1984. When she was working on the film, Diane felt that she could play an older woman. By the time that it was the mid-nineties, Diane started to resemble Jennifer Lopez.

When her marriage to Josh Brolin had fallen apart in February 2013, there were gossip rags raging about how she was in a relationship that was sexless. Online blind items had reiterated that Josh was unfaithful because he was her beard, and that she had a sexual preference for young women. The code word was “fillies” - young female horses. In 2010, Diane was in an equestrian-themed film called Secretariat. In February 2013, there were photos of herself, Laura Dern and Mary Steenburgen having a “girls night out” where they attended the Burbank premiere of Cavalia’s Odysseo - a horse show. Laura Dern is Diane’s best friend. Laura’s mother had a similar name: Diane Ladd. Josh Brolin used to have a lesbian publicist named Kelly Bush Novak. In 2004, Josh was arrested for abusing Diane Lane. Ironically, he didn’t get blacklisted like Mel Gibson - both men could be seen together at Chateau Marmont in December 2012. Mel, in particular, was shaking Jane Fonda’s hand.

In the November 1984 issue of Interview, Diane claimed that she wanted to work with Mel. She said the same thing in the November 1984 issue of an Italian magazine called Moda. Although her divorce to Josh was filed in February 2013, it was finalized in November on what would have been Bruce Lee’s 73rd birthday (Bruce died in 1973). On November 21, 2024, Josh published a memoir where the only wives that he had referenced were the one before Diane and the one afterwards. Back to Jane Fonda, it was mentioned in the March 2016 issue of More that Diane attended dance parties with her and Catherine Keener (who is said to be into women).

Fran Lebowitz looked happier when photographed with another bisexual Diane - a fashion designer by the name of Diane von Furstenberg. About her previous union with Christophe(r) Lambert, Diane Lane said something that reminded me of a complaint that Mimi Rogers had made about her marriage with Tom Cruise. In her interview for the June 2000 issue of Esquire, Diane may have not only reminded people of that other marriage but also of the fact that she was in one of Tom Cruise’s earlier films - Francis Ford Coppola’s The Outsiders (1983).

Diane Lane said: “It wasn’t love and it wasn’t lust, but it was sure something. I used to joke with Christopher, ‘I’m marrying you for all the things that I’m avoiding, not for what I’m getting.’ I was mostly celibate when I was married because he was gone all the time. I felt like the nun in heat waiting for the guy on the stallion to take me off and make a woman of me. I just wanted to belong to somebody and have somebody belong to me in the old-fashioned way. In hindsight, I call myself a rock bleeder; I found the absolutely least likely person on the planet Earth to give me what I needed.”

The issue of celibacy is a head-scratcher. I’m reminded of a songwriter who had a reputation for being asexual - Diane Warren. In 2018, both Dianes were photographed with Diane Keaton. In the mid-eighties, a similar sight gag happened when Diane Lane was photographed separately with Jon Bon Jovi and John Taylor. In the January 1985 issue of Playboy, a reference is made to a photo of Diane and John Taylor in the men’s room that was featured in an issue of Rolling Stone. There was a missed opportunity for a joke about Diane wanting to see John’s Johnson in the John, but maybe it was supposed to be a joke left unsaid so as to make the setting not seem contrived.

In the February 1993 issue of Details, Diane Lane said something that reminded me of Mel Gibson retiring from Hollywood in 1984 to live on a cattle farm in Australia before returning in 1986. It just so happens that Diane had also taken a break in 1984 before coming back in 1986. Like Mel in 1984, Diane had two films that were released to little fanfare. Here is what she told Joe Dolce for Details in 1993: “I wanted to know who I was before presenting myself as hot s#!t. So I took my career off the market and went to Georgia for two years. I lived with my mom, got the chickens’ eggs out of the coop, ate a lot of bacon, and stayed celibate. I didn’t want to play the game – to go to Hollywood parties, memorize who was where and who did what...I don’t have the calculating mind for that. I don’t know if I’m lazy or if I think that’s beneath me.”

In the October 1979 issue of Dolly, Diane Lane stated that she wanted to be as good and famous of an actress as Tatum O’Neal. The latter’s memoir contained memories of being in bed with Melanie Griffith circa 1976. At one point, they had a foursome with a male hairdresser and Maria Schneider in a French hotel. Diane’s first film, A Little Romance (1979), was shot in France. It was the first film produced by Orion Pictures, who distributed the final film that Diane acted in before her hiatus i.e. Francis Ford Coppola’s The Cotton Club (1984). Unlike Streets of Fire (1984), you could hear Diane’s real singing voice in The Cotton Club. In an example of the close Hollywood connections, one of the producers of Streets of Fire had produced Mel Gibson’s comeback movie: Lethal Weapon (1987). This producer was Joel Silver.

In the November 1984 issue of Interview, Diane mentioned that she missed out on the rehearsals of The Cotton Club because she was still working on Streets of Fire. The latter finished filming on August 18, 1983 whereas the former began filming on August 28, 1983. Given the tension that occurred between herself and Coppola, he would have been better advised to recast her role with Jennifer Jason Leigh. I say this because she later showcased her singing ability in Georgia (1995), which won the award for best picture at the Montreal Film Festival. Vincent Spano was not only in Streets of Fire but in an earlier film of Coppola’s that Diane was also in - Rumble Fish (1983). Diane received some counselling from Warren Beatty during the making of Streets of Fire.

In the late seventies, Rosanna Arquette rejected the advances of Warren Beatty. She starred with Vincent Spano in a film called Baby It’s You (1983). In 1988, Rosanna could be seen with Melanie Griffith in the most unexpected places. Back to Diane Lane, she referenced Rosanna when asked to explain how she first met Warren Beatty: “Through a screening he had with Melissa Gilbert and her mother and some other people. We went to see Steven Picaro and Rosanna Arquette at the screening, and Warren was completely taken with Vinnie Spano, an old friend of mine, and so we went to a screening of two Vincent Spano movies at his house. He called me after that and I said I was really uptight about a lot of things, and all this sex counselling stuff.”

Diane Lane met Christoph Lambert during the French publicity tour for The Cotton Club. One of the dancers in Streets of Fire was a French actress named Marine Jahan, who didn’t get credited as the dance double of Jennifer Beals in Flashdance (1983). During the making of The Cotton Club, Jennifer Jason Leigh was replaced with Jennifer Grey. Leigh became a friend of Beals during the making of Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle (1994), which finished principal photography before Pulp Fiction began filming. Both actresses were considered for the latter, but not Diane Lane. It’s ironic, then, that Quentin Tarantino was an executive producer of a film co-starring Diane i.e. the 2005 adaptation of Elmore Leonard’s Killshot that was released in Israel circa 2008 before the U.S. circa 2009.

In the summer of 2002, Jennifer Beals filmed the pilot of a lesbian TV series called The L Word. From September to November of 2002, Diane Lane starred in a film where her character had a lesbian best friend i.e. Sandra Oh co-starred in Under the Tuscan Sun. When Diane co-starred in Sylvester Stallone’s Judge Dredd (1995), she also worked with Joan Chen. In the remake, Dredd (2012), Olivia Thirlby played the hero’s sidekick. This counts as an in-joke because Olivia had dropped out of a lesbian werewolf film called Jack & Diane in 2008. This update on Ginger Snaps (2000) was made in 2010 and released in 2012. Jack & Diane was the title of a John Mellencamp song in 1982, but this was when he was known as John Cougar. Diane Lane is supposed to be a sapphic cougar.

In the first half of 1994, Joan Chen worked with Diane’s ex-husband on The Hunted (1995) i.e. Christoph Lambert. This was before working with Diane on Judge Dredd in the second half of 1994. While The Hunted was filmed in Japan like Jackie Chan’s Thunderbolt (1995), the latter began filming during the making of Judge Dredd. Joan Chen later played a lesbian in Wild Side (1997) and Montréal, My Belle (2025). Diane Lane was interviewed for the June 1997 issue of a magazine called Live. The cover had lesbian country singer K.D. Lang with her face angled and obscured in a way that it looked like Lane had gone butch. Coincidentally, K.D. was the girlfriend of a musical actress in The L Word - Leisha Hailey.

It’s ironic that Meredith Salenger was in the running for the role of Tina Kennard in The L Word because, unlike Diane Lane, Meredith was nascent to the world of on-screen nudity. Meredith was in an ‘80s horror film that had lesbian subtext - The Kiss (1988). Diane rejected the dual roles in A Kiss Before Dying (1991). There is an adult entertainer named Linda Kiss, who resembles Diane. There is a sex tape online that is either a case of mistaken identity or defamation of character in terms of intent. In 2011, Diane’s husband at the time had a kissing scandal. Josh Brolin kissed Javier Bardem on stage at the 83rd Academy Awards.

Televisual audiences didn’t get to see it because the camera cut to a shot of Javier’s wife - Penelope Cruz. This actress had acted with Tom Cruise in Vanilla Sky (2000). Diane Lane had auditioned to be in two films with him - Risky Business (1983) and Jerry Maguire (1996). Josh Brolin had more luck with Javier Bardem because they reunited in the Dune trilogy. Had Diane succeeded with her screen test for Pretty Woman (1990), she would have reunited with Richard Gere sooner i.e. after The Cotton Club and before Unfaithful (2002).

Diane Lane acted with Adrian Pasdar in a film called Vital Signs (1990). Following this, they acted in separate films that were made with Hong Kong film professionals in the Orient. Adrian was in Shanghai 1920 (1991) whereas Diane was in The Setting Sun (1992). As a fan of Hong Kong films, it appeals to me that Yuen Biao was in the latter. I wish that they became “ride or die” friends because Josh Brolin wouldn’t have got the cojones to accost Diane since Biao has tough Triad friends. Sadly, modern media has yet to interview them about working on The Setting Sun. This film features Donald Sutherland, who later worked with Lane on Oldest Living Confederate Widow Tells All (1994). In The Setting Sun, Diane Lane played a Chinese rebel, which works because she looks like she could be the daughter of Nancy Kwan.

Diane also has a passing resemblance to Natalie Wood - something that was exploited in 1983 by a magazine called The Movies. The September issue had Diane on the cover whereas the October issue had Natalie on the cover. Natalie’s final film, Brainstorm, was released in September. One of Natalie’s friends was Dennis Hopper, who acted in Rumble Fish - the second and final time that Diane worked with Matt Dillon on a Francis Ford Coppola film. Let’s get back to Judge Dredd, Sylvester Stallone is a major fan of Hong Kong action films. He even wanted Jackie Chan to be in Demolition Man (1993), but Jackie turned it down (albeit he still visited Sly on the set). Jackie worked with Yuen Biao many times, and Biao worked with Cynthia Rothrock (who Sly wanted to star with in The Executioner).

Rosanna Arquette has more musician friends than film friends. In the twentieth century, she wasn’t known for dating actors. In the entertainment industry, there are the relationships that you see then there are the ones which you don’t see. As for what can be seen, it would appear that Rosanna was dating Paul Buchanan in 1991 before she split up with Peter Gabriel in 1992. Paul (on the left in the cover) was the vocalist and all-round instrumentalist in The Blue Nile, and he had met Rosanna through Peter. In March 1991, she could be seen dining with French composer Eric Serra at the 16th César Awards. In 1992, Peter’s Us album had a song called Kiss That Frog. Eric composed a 1988 Luc Besson film, Le Grand Bleu, where Rosanna kissed a Frenchman. Her father was a French-Canadian descendant.

For the July-August 1985 issue of American Film (which was published by the American Film Institute), Julia Cameron had interviewed Rosanna Arquette inside a music management firm called Fitzgerald Hartley. The reason for the setting was because Rosanna’s business manager had an office there. The interview was reprinted in the May 1986 issue of a British magazine called The Face. Coincidentally, Julia Cameron wrote a season 2 episode of Miami Vice that was aired in England on May 1986. Anyway, she mentioned that one of Rosanna’s babysitters, who became a Hollywood hair stylist, had a memory of Rosanna’s room being not papered with Walt Disney characters but with posters of Marilyn Monroe (albeit her true role model was Natalie Wood). In March 1985, U.S. audiences could see Rosanna star alongside the ‘80s Monroe in a film called Desperately Seeking Susan.

After being listed in the liner notes of Michael Jackson’s Thriller (1982), it shouldn’t have been a surprise that Rosanna Arquette would star in a film alongside Madonna. If that isn’t a tell-tale sign, the AFI article mentioned that Rosanna’s boyfriend in 1985 was a record producer. His name isn’t mentioned but one could deduce that it was James Newton Howard. The article references a diamond ring. Rosanna had already married a composer (Tony Greco) from 1979 to 1981. James Newton Howard had worked as an orchestrator on an album featuring her previous boyfriend i.e. Steve Porcaro’s fourth Toto album was released in April 1982. Four of the six members in Toto had worked on Michael Jackson’s 1982 album where Rosanna was thanked as “Rosanna Porcaro” despite the fact that she didn’t marry Steve, but one could forgive that after Toto had named a song after her. Their relationship ended in late 1983. On August 4, 1984, Rosanna attended the Jacksons Victory tour in New York. Madonna was also there.

As for Steve Porcaro, Rosanna Arquette was still his friend by the time that it was 1985 (if her interview for the October issue of Playboy is anything to go by). In the April 1985 issue of Moviegoer, it was revealed that they had been a couple for two and a half years when Rosanna decided to call it quits in late 1983. During a break in the filming of The Aviator (which Christopher Reeve was responsible for casting her in), Rosanna took a trip to Venice, Italy where she claims: “I made a decision to change my life. I got out of situations that were bad for me, business relationships and personal relationships, and got my life together. I really feel that being stoned messes up your judgment. It’s not real – it gives you fake creativity, fake everything. I just wanted to clean my system completely. I’ve really been through a lot of s#!t for someone my age.”

Even as far back as the eighties, Rosanna Arquette claimed that she was outspoken to her detriment. In 1985, she spoke about wanting to be a producer and director but these things happened two decades later. There could be more to her downfall as an actress than being blacklisted by Harvey Weinstein, going by what she said in 1985: “I could make a film right now if I had a great cinematographer and a great editor so I could work with the actors. I’m very good with actors. I’ve directed children in a lot of plays, and I make my own video films. They’re very strange. When I go to a party or to see my friends, I take along a camera and become the most obnoxious person. Once, I followed Steve Porcaro’s daughter around and got her view of Easter. We went to three parties, and it was all from the point of view of a little girl.”

After it began in September 1986, Rosanna Arquette’s marriage to James Newton Howard ended in October 1987. In Vol. 2, issue 2 of Celebrity Sleuth (circa 1988), it was revealed that she two-timed on him with a French actor before the 12th month of their marriage. This coincided with the making of a French film called Le Grand Bleu. In spite of this, Peter Gabriel became known as her next boyfriend. Her relationship with Paul Buchanan ended in 1993, which was when she began dating a composer named Jon Sidel. They married in December 1993 but they divorced in February 1999. Following this came a relationship with British rock star and actor Michael Des Barres. They did three films together: Diary of a Sex Addict (2001), Poison (2000) and Sugar Town (1999). The latter featured Spandau Ballet’s Martin Kemp and Duran Duran’s John Taylor.

It’s ironic that Rosanna Arquette never recorded her own album or even starred in a musical, yet she co-starred in a film with David Bowie - The Linguini Incident (1991). In the early nineties, Rosanna was in a film with Grace Jones called Palmer’s Pick-Up but it didn’t get released until 1999. Both women were seen laughing at a table at the Cannes Film Festival in May 1989. Not even a shelved film could thwart Rosanna’s attempts at associating herself with the rock music scene. In 1995, she starred in a pilot for a sitcom that was basically the alternative rock version of Cheers. Titled Daisy & Chess, Seattle band Mudhoney made an appearance. One could assume that the format for the sitcom was akin to how Saturday Night Live handles music guests. Rosanna’s Daisy was a bartender whereas Chess was the name of her son whose bass-playing father had yet to be identified.

Mudhoney played their latest single, Generation Spokesmodel. The popularity of the alt rock movement in the ‘90s should have afforded all parties involved to have the bells and whistles that came with being affiliated, as was the case with Cameron Crowe’s Singles (1992). Rosanna Arquette’s sitcom didn’t get picked up. This meant that Anthrax remained as the edgiest band to appear on a sitcom i.e. Married…with Children in 1992. That year was when she co-starred opposite Jean-Claude Van Damme in Crossing the Line before it became known as Nowhere to Run. This became the set-up for a curious punchline when she later co-starred in a Scott Bakula TV movie called Nowhere to Hide (1994). This leads to another quirk - Rosanna’s husband at the time, Jon Sidel, contributed to the soundtrack of Van Damme’s TimeCop (1994).

Despite not having any musical inclinations that manifested in the form of being a recording artist, Rosanna Arquette threw herself head first into being known as a music lover. She could be seen next to Charlie Sexton on the cover of “In Fashion” for their November 1986 issue. The stars interviewed each other, which paved the way for Charlie to achieve mainstream visibility when one of his songs was placed on the soundtrack of a John Hughes movie called Some Kind of Wonderful (1987). When people in cartoons look at each other as prospects, there are one of three symbols that are in the beholder’s eyes - dollar signs, Valentine’s hearts or stars. Both Rosanna and Charlie have the same star signs - Leo. However, Charlie was 18 in 1986 while Rosanna turned 27 that year.

Although she was engulfed in the music scene, Rosanna Arquette wasn’t completely estranged from actors in her social life. In the April 22, 1985 issue of a magazine called Us, she referred to Mare Winningham as her best friend. Other actor friends include Joyce Hyser, Laura Dern, Ally Sheedy and Rebecca De Mornay (Ally’s best friend). The latter is notable for having actually worked in the music industry. As a teenager, she had written songs that were recorded by others. One example is The King of Kung Fu, which became the theme tune to a Chinese movie called Goodbye Bruce Lee: His Last Game of Death (1975). In the aforementioned issue of Us, Rebecca was interviewed but her cited age was a fabrication. She was not 22. In fact, she was born in the exact same month as Rosanna - August 1959.

Conversely, Madonna was born in August 1958. In the April 1985 issue of Moviegoer, Rosanna Arquette complained about Desperately Seeking Susan being changed because of Madonna’s success with the Like a Virgin single. A disco scene being incorporated made Rosanna exclaim that if she wanted to do a “rock video” then she would do it with her friends, specifically naming Peter Gabriel and Toto. 1987 was when she officially began dating Peter, but then we do have the instance of herself being the inspiration for his 1986 song - In Your Eyes. She convinced Peter to consider having the song placed on Cameron Crowe’s Say Anything… (1989), which co-starred Ione Skye. Madonna and Ione Skye were directed by Allison Anders in Four Rooms (1995) then Allison directed Rosanna in Sugar Town (1999) and Things Behind the Sun (2001).

In the latter, Kim Dickens played a rock singer. Kim is a lesbian who has had a long romantic history with Leisha Hailey, one of the stars in a TV franchise called The L Word. In the first series, Allison Anders directed an episode whereas Rosanna Arquette appeared in a handful of episodes across three seasons. By handful, I mean that you could actually count them all on one hand. In the fistful of episodes, Rosanna played a character named Cherie Jaffe. The inspiration behind the forename was Cherie Currie playing a character who Rosanna was considered for during the casting of Foxes (1980). As for the surname, Rosanna auditioned for the protagonist in a film produced by Stanley R. Jaffe i.e. The Accused (1988). Both films starred Jodie Foster, who is known for being a lesbian. Cherie Currie was known for being in a band called The Runaways whereas Rosanna appeared in a 1979 episode of a TV series that just happened to be called The Runaways.

Rosanna Arquette must have influenced Martin Scorsese to hire Peter Gabriel as a composer for The Last Temptation of Christ (1988). Martin had previously directed Rosanna in After Hours (1985), and he cast her as well as Peter in his segment for an anthology titled New York Stories (1989). What started out as a passion play became a power play as another actress had supplanted Rosanna as Martin’s muse. Illeana Douglas had a voice acting part in Martin’s Christ film, which Mel Gibson had turned down. Mel was considered for the role of Rosanna’s love interest in Luc Besson’s Le Grand Bleu. In a strange turn of events, Rosanna claimed that Mel was considered for the role that went to Jean-Claude Van Damme in Nowhere to Run. Back to Illeana Douglas, Martin Scorsese later cast her in New York Stories, Goodfellas (1990) and Cape Fear (1991).

From 1989 to 1997, Illeana was in a relationship with Scorsese. One declaration of love from him was agreeing to executively produce a starring vehicle directed by Allison Anders - Grace of my Heart (1996). Rosanna Arquette didn’t act in this but she did act in another film executively produced by Scorsese and featuring Illeana - Search and Destroy (1995). On her Instagram page, Rosanna posted a photo of herself being convivial with Illeana during the making of this film. One film worthy of note is Quiz Show (1994) which Scorsese and Illeana had acted in. It’s notable because Griffin Dunne had acted in it, and he was a regular fixture in Rosanna’s life. To digress, Griffin acted in a film that Scorsese executively produced - Naked in New York (1993).

Griffin Dunne and Rosanna Arquette acted in the following films: John Hershey’s The Wall (1982), After Hours, Amazon Women on the Moon (1987), Le Grand Bleu and Men of Divorce (2023). Alongside Amy Robinson, Griffin had co-produced a film starring Rosanna - Baby It’s You (1983). The involvement of Griffin in Rosanna’s life was downplayed in the aforementioned 1985 issue of the AFI magazine. The context of my suspicion is a quote from Amy about casting Rosanna. In her 1985 article, Julia Cameron mentioned that Amy co-produced Scorsese’s After Hours but Julia did not reference Griffin as the other producer. As a matter of fact, he wasn’t even referenced at all despite being the star (the excuse being that the article was about Rosanna in general). Griffin looks like Dennis Boutsikaris, who was born three years earlier.

Helena Bonham Carter landed a deal that rubbed her raw. I’m not going to reiterate everything that was said about her firing from season 4 of The White Lotus. It should be noted that a thespian can be fired from a project as a bizarre display of love i.e. “I admire you so much that I would fire so-and-so just to have you on.”

Imagine if that so-and-so was somebody who you didn’t get along with. Helena Bonham Carter and Laura Dern were the leading ladies of a violent and erotic Steve Martin film called Novocaine (2001). I don’t mean Steve Martin, the black director. I mean Steve Martin, the white comedian. It’s off-putting that the two actresses didn’t share a scene in the film. In fact, between the two women, only Helena had attended the film’s premiere at the Toronto International Film Festival in September 2001. Laura Dern, herself, had been in a film where an actor had been replaced. Philip Anglim replaced Rupert Everett in Haunted Summer (1988) before filming had begun.

With the latest season of The White Lotus being filmed in France, it’s coincidental that Rupert was demoralized last year after he found out that he wouldn’t be returning for season 5 of Emily in Paris. As for Helena Bonham Carter, I can imagine that she feels betrayed when you consider that Laura had previously worked with TV showrunner Mike White, and not just on season 2 of The White Lotus. It’s relevant that season 4 takes place at the Cannes Film Festival, because HBC’s 60th birthday will be on May 26 (three days after the festival has finished). As for Laura Dern, she will turn 60 next year on February 10.

Mike White can get away with firing Helena because Laura has previously won an Emmy, an Oscar, a BAFTA and a Golden Globe. By comparison, Helena’s only big award is a BAFTA. This doesn’t change the fact that she is a committed actress. For example, she spoke French in a French film called Portraits Chinois (1996). Despite her highly-esteemed background, Helena never attended a drama school. This doesn’t change the fact that she undergoes extensive preparation for her roles, even paying her psychotherapist mother to analyze scripts. One of Helena’s quirks is that she likes to incorporate a part of the director into her characters.

Helena’s casting in The White Lotus was first announced three months ago, but she should count her blessings that she wasn’t fired on her birthday. It still counts as April Fools that the announcements of the filming, firing and replacing have all happened in this month. These events happened in less than two weeks. The timing has been too quick for this to not have been pre-planned. Helena was playing the main character, and Laura is supposed to be playing a new character. It’s difficult to believe that Laura is being shoe-horned in since she was seen talking with Mike White in Los Angeles last year. This was around the time that he was going to begin location-scouting for season 4. Nine months later, a stabbing in the back gave birth.

Too many people have celebrated Helena’s sacking. Helena is not a bad person. She is also not a bad actress, and it’s not like she is totally against being kinky (I’ve seen photos and footage of her in general). While Helena is known for playing a certain type, she is diverse enough that casting against type is not that novel of a notion for her. Mike White had written her character with Helena in mind, so she wasn’t really miscast. It might not be a coincidence that two of the thespians in the new season had attended the Cannes Film Festival twenty years ago. In 2006, it was the 59th edition (above). Currently, Helena Bonham Carter and Laura Dern are 59 years old.

Helena has never been that much of a frequenter of the CFF; since the only other photos that you can see of her being there were taken in 1989 and 1992. When you see photos of her in the 1989 event, the 42nd edition (below), Helena doesn’t seem too thrilled to be there. One of the actors photographed next to her was Matt Lattanzi. He was born in 1959, so there could be some Hollywood hint-dropping going on here. His acting career ended in 1994, which was the year before his divorce from Olivia Newton-John.

Back to The White Lotus, the excuse of “the character for Helena Bonham Carter did not align once on set” is not the same thing as saying the character did not align on screen. Let’s pretend that the powers that be are telling the truth, this comment can mean one of two things - Helena had fallen out with someone or had more chemistry with the wrong actor. Allegedly, Helena had fallen out with Sandra Bernhard. There is a 2017 film where Helena acted with an actress who was a prettier version of Sandra i.e. Hilary Swank in 55 Steps (2017). As for The White Lotus, if it wasn’t working “on screen” then it would mean that HD cameras amplify her aged skin (especially when nude). Calista Flockhart had it easy on Supergirl with the soft focus filtering afforded by CGI. A flock of crows is called a murder, so crow’s feet is a reminder of being closer to death’s door.

On the subject of image, Helena looked so different in the 1980s. Like Jane Leeves, another British actress, photos of a pre-90s Helena suggest that her ethnic heritage isn’t entirely white. Both dames looked so exotic that it wouldn’t surprise me if they are secretly Jewish. As recent events have shown, it’s not safe to be Jewish in England. Helena’s mother had a French-Jewish lineage. As for Helena in The White Lotus, a conversation on set was bound to come up about Israel and Gaza even if no-one on set was perceptive enough to question her complexion. Middle-Eastern ethnicity or not, you can’t please everyone when you take a side. You can’t fake chemistry, and you can’t hide discomfort.

Don’t let her posh accent fool you, Helena Bonham Carter may have self-respect but she doesn’t take herself too seriously for her own good. There is a fine line between self-esteem and ego. For all of her humour, one can’t escape the seriousness of the modern climate without the risk of being called facetious or flippant. I’ve studied journalism long enough to know the many ways that an actor’s firing can hamper their career. In the first episode of the star-studded My Grandparents’ War (a 2019 Channel 4 series), Helena revealed that her maternal grandfather helped thousands of French Jews escape the holocaust. In the hands of a better TV producer, season 4 of The White Lotus could have been an opportunity to talk about Jews working in the French film industry. Last year, Jodie Foster could be seen playing a Jewish woman in a French film called Vie Privée.

This is Annabelle Attanasio. Kung Fu: Cinema of Vengeance (October 1974) is a very short book. Neglecting the pages that come before and after, there are 126 pages if you start from the beginning of the first chapter to the end of the twelfth chapter. Much information could have been contained within, but so much space is reserved for photos of the black and white kind. The book goes off to a rough start with a racist quote from a Hollywood film called Shanghai Express (1932): “What future is there in being a Chinaman? You are born, eat your way through a handful of rice and you die.”

But then the book was primarily marketed to the layman than the aficionado, albeit the book is not without its surprises. The New One-Armed Swordsman (1971) was said to have broken box office records in South America. The reverse happened in Hong Kong where it earned US$250,000 despite costing US$300,000 to make. In some countries, it outperformed The Godfather (1972). By the time that Verina Glaessner’s book was published, there was still only one union in the Hong Kong film industry, and it was for film editors (according to the first chapter). At the time, Hong Kong had 97 cinemas but attendance had dropped from the record-breaking 98 million tickets in 1966 to the 71 million of 1973. Violence escalated significantly from 1968 to 1972 (this is according to the second chapter). 55% of the H.K. population was under the age of 25. Kung Fu films and thrillers had a special level of resonance because 10% of Hong Kong’s income came from gambling, prostitution and drugs.

Notwithstanding the title of her book, Martial Acts: Cinema of Vengeance would have been a better title, and not just because of the term acts of vengeance. In the third chapter, Verina felt compelled to describe the different styles of combat but not all of them were Chinese. Of particular note is a Korean martial art called Hapkido, which has the same name in Chinese as Aikido (a Japanese art). In the fourth chapter, it is revealed that the chairman of the Shaw Brothers film studio owned several Swiss bank accounts. This man, Run Run Shaw, said something that made me think about Bruce Lee’s declaration on wanting to reserve three months in 1973 to make a film for Shaw Brothers. Run Run said: “Although it is wrong to say that we make films quickly, we are trying to speed up the schedules so that we spend some forty-five to seventy shooting days on a film.”

Their policy was to rarely spend more than US$300,000 on a film. With feasible markets existing in the form of Malaysia, Singapore, Taiwan and the Philippines, this is too safe. It’s difficult to believe R.R. Shaw when he claimed that the theatrical earnings of Chinese films were higher than that of imported films. The fourth chapter, The Producers, is not just about Shaw but Golden Harvest’s Raymond Chow. Shaw’s main female producer (and mistress), Mona Fong, is absent. Going by the timeframe, it’s obvious that the white actor hoping to remain anonymous was George Lazenby. A “somewhat disenchanted European actor lending international appeal” to a new Golden Harvest action film (Stoner) said: “These guys just measure the fight sequence by the foot and then make the script with the longest fight sequences.”

In the fifth chapter, titled The Film Makers, director Chu Yuan made it clear that he wasn’t entirely satisfied with Intimate Confessions of a Chinese Courtesan (1972) because of being forced to include scenes of combat: “The boss said we must have Kung Fu. It was still possible to sell a film on Kung Fu then, so we had Kung Fu. The boss makes Kung Fu films for money. The director makes them because he has to eat. It has been too easy; all those companies shooting films in two days, a week. There are two hundred martial arts schools in Hong Kong. You can pick up someone, anyone, just like that. They won’t be Bruce Lee, or Lo Lieh.”

The sixth chapter, Kung Fu Chronology, sums up what’s wrong with the book. Instead of interviews with stuntmen and fight choreographers, we get miscellaneous insight about the history of Chinese cinema. This is reflected in the choice of stills, some of which depict the sexploitation of the ‘70s. There are people who watch movies because of who the choreographer is, but choreographers didn’t even get mentioned in this book (with the obvious exception of Bruce Lee). Lau Kar-Leung was the best fight choreographer for Shaw Brothers, and he was the most prolific choreographer in Hong Kong by the time that it was 1973. There were so many Hong Kong martial arts movie stars that could have been interviewed for a book that feels more like a proposal than a full-fledged project. It’s strange because so much effort was clearly put into finding photos, which shows you where the publisher’s mind was at.

Even if the actors were too busy making movies to be interviewed, there was always the prospect of interviewing people who worked for the censors (especially given how censorship is referenced from time to time in the book). The book may have been regarded as something of a disappointment in the mid-seventies when you see the documentaries that were being made about Kung Fu movies. Shaw Brothers were covered in a 1972 episode of a British TV series called Whicker’s World (for the ITV network). The episode was titled What Makes Shaw Run Run. As for Golden Harvest, director Brian Trenchard-Smith promoted them thoroughly with a pair of Australian documentaries - The World of Kung Fu (1973) and Kung Fu Killers (1974). The book’s author is Australian.

Without much in the way of anecdotes from Verina Glaessner’s book, what we are left with is a collection of observations that are tantamount to reading a series of film reviews. But I want more than a synopsis and an opinion. This is why film magazines existed, because they did what websites do now. If someone wasn’t lucky enough to hear a radio ad or see a TV spot then a magazine article or newspaper ad would compensate. When she was in Hong Kong, Verina could have done with getting her hands on every known copy of the Cinemart and Milky Way Pictorial magazines. Golden Harvest published Golden Movie News whereas Shaw Brothers had Hong Kong Movie News, Shaw Movie News and Southern Screen. What all of these magazines had in common is that there was always something to read in English.

If Kung Fu: Cinema of Vengeance was a publishing success, it was because it had come during a time when martial arts magazines were becoming more of a trend with the arrival of Fighting Stars and Clash. Not all hope is gone, however, as the book proves that The Greatest Thai Boxing was released in December 1973 and not December 1974. The below poster was in the seventh chapter - exclusively devoted to displaying movie posters. There are eight posters, which is reminiscent of how memoirs tend to have eight pages of photos. Interestingly, the only Bruce Lee poster that the author didn’t show was the one for The Way of the Dragon (1972). The only Shaw Brothers poster is the one for The Bamboo House of Dolls (1973), and it’s not a martial arts movie (let alone a Kung Fu one).

The eighth chapter is about the above actress - Angela Mao. It’s revealed that The Fate of Lee Khan took three years to be completed (1970 to 1973). This makes it easier for people to argue that it would have been a piece of cake for Bruce Lee to resume filming The Game of Death after half a year of inactivity. Angela’s movie with George Lazenby, Stoner, is referred to as The Shrine of Ultimate Bliss. This was the title of a film intended for Bruce Lee, but you wouldn’t know it from this book. Stoner (1974) had foreshadowed Tower of Death (1981) with the concept of a temple that harbours a drugs operation. With the ‘80s movie being an attempt to make use of unseen Bruce Lee outtakes, it does offer pause for thought as to what he may have intended for the temple grounds in The Game of Death.

Given that Bruce lived in a district whose name translated to nine dragons pond (Kowloon Tong), it’s uncanny that the ninth chapter is about him. The most interesting insight is near the end of the chapter where it’s revealed that he felt that Enter the Dragon (1973) had been a mistake. In his previous films, Bruce did not play an authority figure. Instead, he was an underdog who fought for those who were oppressed. It would appear that some people chose to speak off the record when Verina Glaessner wrote that “some actors” claimed that Bruce was a violent person in real life. Minus the threat of repercussion, remaining anonymous means that there will be less requests for a specific subject matter in subsequent interviews.

The tenth chapter of Verina’s book is about Jimmy Wang Yu. Unlike the chapter about Bruce, he was not described as being vicious off screen. But then it remains to be seen if anyone told the author that Jimmy was a gangster. His lack of kicking flexibility on screen is misleading. Either way, he wasn’t described as someone with real-life heroic intentions. Maybe Jimmy was too busy in Taiwan (where he primarily worked as an actor), but he should have been interviewed for this book. By the time that it was October 1974, he was working in Australia on Brian Trenchard-Smith’s The Man from Hong Kong (co-starring George Lazenby). This was conceived with Bruce in mind. Brian had approached Golden Harvest with a screenplay where Bruce would play a cop in the vein of Dirty Harry (1971).

The eleventh chapter is about two stars who often did films together - David Chiang and Ti Lung. The most interesting detail is one that’s glossed over - Shaw Brothers deliberately cast them in separate English language films so as to gauge their individual value. The Legend of the 7 Gold Vampires and Shatter were co-productions with a British film company called Hammer. Both films featured Peter Cushing, and had led to a second director being brought in. The experience must have been maddening enough for Peter to no longer work for Hammer. It says a lot about the international market that Shaw Brothers were more prolific in collaborating with Italian film companies than a British one.

The twelfth chapter of Glaessner’s book is called The Final Blow. If the sixties were swinging, the seventies were swallowing with the likes of Deep Throat (1972) being responsible for Lady Whirlwind (1972) being retitled in 1973 as Deep Thrust. Despite the photographic emphasis on actress Shih Szu being the co-star of The Shadow Boxer (1974), nothing is said about how the film’s star had died. The best inclusion is a quote from David Chiang: “I have lived in Hong Kong all my life and there are many things that aren’t right - the gap between the rich and the poor, the corruption, the rich who steal, the businessmen who already have so many wives but have to find a different prostitute every night…the poor who get hooked on drugs. The swordfight film is all heroes and killing, you have to kill and you always win. Real people can’t do that.”

Band tees are product placement. With the exception of actresses who are in rock bands, Drea de Matteo is the most blatant example of an actress who is a rock chick. Ironically, she knows how to play a guitar. This is according to an old resume from a talent agency called Don Buchwald & Associates. The resume provides historical insight because it was before Drea was cast in The Sopranos circa 1998. She claims to have been blacklisted because of refusing the Covid vaccination. If you read my article titled Skirting the Line, you will find out the real reason behind the vaccine being considered especially necessary in the film and TV industries. Way before Covid, even before it became trendy to get someone cancelled, Drea told Vulture in 2014: “I prefer to be on cable TV. You can’t rein me in. I can’t be a f#ckin’ cheerleader. I’m too f#cking loudmouthed for network TV. I’m too much of a whore for network TV!”

Drea de Matteo could have been a name that you thought of when the subject of actress rock stars comes to mind. Even Jada Pinkett Smith had formed a metal band i.e. Wicked Wisdom. They were formed in 2002 - the same year when Drea teamed up with Gina Gershon to play rock musicians in a film called Prey for Rock & Roll. Drea and Gina continued to be friends long after the film was released. For example, Sunday, November 6, 2005 was when they attended a concert at The Hollywood Bowl. The band was The Rolling Stones, and it was two months after the release of their 22nd album - A Bigger Bang.

The Movieline magazine had an off-shoot called Hollywood Life. Drea de Matteo was the cover story for the September 2004 issue where Martha Frankel described her as a music-loving scenester. Four Septembers earlier, Drea was the cover story for a mag called Arena. It’s not about music, but the name should have clued her in on where her main interest lies. The cover photo, by David LaChapelle, allowed people (mainly men) to see Drea’s AC/DC tattoo.

In the September 2004 issue of Interview, interviewer Matt Diehl referenced the fact that Drea doesn’t like acting that much. To which she said: “I’m tired of the industry, tired of playing the whole game – the dressing up, the red carpet. I hate talking about myself.”

When asked what she would rather do, Drea said: “I’m a workaholic, and I have a lot of projects. We have a company where we find new writers and develop their scripts. I have Filth Mart, a clothing company and store I do with my ex-boyfriend. I like to make everything my friends are involved in a little better. I should have just become a manager.”

Back to acting, she was asked to elaborate on using music to prepare for scenes: “I had so much crying to do for The Sopranos, and certain songs that remind me of certain people or times in my life really helped. One that makes me cry is Oh! Sweet Nuthin’ by The Velvet Underground, and Loving Cup by The Rolling Stones, and anything by Neil Young.”

Another song she referenced was Please Carry Me Home from the soundtrack to The Passion of the Christ (2004). One of the singers was Shooter Jennings: a son of Waylon Jennings, and the then-boyfriend of Drea de Matteo. According to the latter, Shooter was introduced to her by a friend. Apparently, the first time that they met wasn’t exciting. As the years went by, she produced for him two children. The couple got engaged but they never married. Shooter married another woman two years after Drea gave birth to their son.

Drea de Matteo was interviewed for the March 2004 issue of Blender. It’s here that we learn that Vince Vaughn was the friend who introduced Shooter Jennings to Drea. The location was a Hollywood bar called Whisky a Go Go. This was a legendary place for bands. Later on in the article, Drea explained that the context of their meeting was the premiere for Made - a 2001 Jon Favreau film that she went uncredited in. She must have been on some substance because she couldn’t remember meeting Shooter. Here are a couple of facts from the Blender article: Drea was booted from her NYU dorm for playing Black Sabbath too loud. As a teenager, she was a fan of The Grateful Dead: “I followed them around for a while. I had really long hair on my legs and armpits.”

The theme of the issue was the ten albums that shaped her life, although there was a ridiculously long list of albums that points to one of two things - the article was a heavily compressed interview where she talked about music, or Drea de Matteo just shared her entire playlist to journalist Andrew Goldman. The actress formerly known as Andrea talked about Christiane F. (1981), whose soundtrack was composed by David Bowie: “It’s the bleakest movie ever. It was my favorite when I was a kid. It’s about a 13-year-old drug addict. I watched it over and over again until my mom took it away from me. The character reminded me of myself, even though at that point in my life I hadn’t done those kinds of drugs.”

Just when you think that things couldn’t get bleaker, here is her anecdote about Neil Young’s Live Rust (1979): “My boyfriend at the time got into a horrible accident. He was paralyzed from the chest down. I wheeled him around for a while, and the only thing we could do was go to music shows. I was still a virgin, and I’d never slept with him. I was probably about to. This is the album we always used to listen to.”

Back to her 2002 rock music film, Prey for Rock & Roll, it was referenced when Drea mentioned a Hank Williams III album called Lovesick, Broke and Driftin’ (2002): “My friend Agatha Blois, who makes clothes for rock stars, turned me on to this. I always listened to Hank Sr., but Hank III is my favorite today. My bass coach from Prey for Rock & Roll is friends with him. I met him through her. He seemed like a nice guy. He has a mohawk under his cowboy hat.”

In the January 2004 issue of Femme Fatales, there was a review of the album that was sold to promote Prey for Rock & Roll. The film had a limited release in October 2003, but the only castmate to perform on the album is Gina Gershon as the vocalist (hence why she is the only bandmate on the cover). The album was produced and mixed by a famous lesbian - Linda Perry. There are photos of Gina and Linda having attended the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center's "An Evening With Women" in Beverly Hills on two Mays i.e. 2010 and 2012.

In the October 2004 issue of Stuff, Drea said: “My mother really hated tattoos, and she kicked me out of the house when I got my first one. So I went out, got another and said - Look here, what do you think of this one?”

In the April 2010 issue of a tattoo magazine called Inked, Shooter Jennings said something that makes me wonder why marriage wasn’t an actuality given the permanence of tattooing. It’s like ink on a contract. The joke is that it’s cheaper to get a tattoo removed than to get divorced. Anyway, Shooter said: “Me and my fiancée, Drea, got matching tattoos with our initials. Mine has her initials and it’s on my right hand. We were doing South by Southwest, so I think it had to have been 2004.”

In the September 2004 issue of Blender, Drea de Matteo was mentioned in a gig review of Velvet Revolver performing at the Fantasy Island festival in New Jersey. The setting was a hotel and casino in Atlantic City. The concert/festival was organized by the people behind three magazines - Blender, Stuff and Maxim. Drea was showcased in enough issues of Blender to be unofficially known as their mascot. The July 2005 issue had a two page feature on Drea and Shooter where it was revealed that the first record that Shooter purchased was by AC/DC. Drea admitted that she had broken up with Shooter once. There was a strange case of a memory relapse when it was revealed that the first time that they actually met was a couple of years before the premiere of Made. It was backstage at a Dwight Yoakam concert. By the time that it was 2005, the couple were residing in what used to be David Bowie’s house in the Hollywood Hills.

Initially, the couple were in a long distance relationship until Drea moved from New York to Los Angeles in order to participate in the filming of a Friends spin-off called Joey. She got the job in July 2004. Ten years later, she told Bruce Fretts for Vulture: “In retrospect, I would go back and do Joey again. Strangely enough, because I had such animosity towards that whole experience at the time. I didn’t want to do it, and I kinda got pushed into it. But looking back on it, me and Matt had so much fun. And I had a blast with the crew. There was just so much pressure on the show, and I was so nervous because I hadn’t done anything like that before. I would go back and do it again, but only with Matt, because I love him.”

The sitcom had stopped airing in August 2006. In October 2007, The New York Observer had observed that Drew de Matteo attended the release party for Kid Rock’s album - Roll N Roll Jesus. The setting was a bar called Nikki Midtown. Also present was Cindy Crawford’s husband, a nightclub operator and former model by the name of Rande Gerber. When Drea was asked what she liked about Kid Rock (who still hadn’t shown up after an hour), the response was: “He’s a cocky mother f#cker and that’s cool!”

Prey for Rock & Roll began life as a New York musical. In the July 18, 2000 issue of a gay magazine called The Advocate, writer/musician Cheri Lovedog was interviewed. Drea played the role that she would later play in the film. Cheri, a lesbian, said: “You can look at Drea and see she has rock star envy. It was an opportunity to do some juicy acting but also for her to fulfill that dream.”

The October 10, 2000 issue of The Advocate referenced something that Drea said in the September issue of Arena (a British magazine): “I can’t say I’ve never been with a woman. Those really weird German ones...all tattooed and probably junkies...they’re the ones that look good to me - not the blondes with the nose jobs and big tits. I like sleaze.”

Either Drea is a truly independent woman or she is a closet lesbian. Her character in Sons of Anarchy kissed Katey Sagal’s. Drea must have been one of those people who believed that the human body completely regenerates its cells every seven years, because she once told the British press: “I can’t imagine ever spending more than seven years with someone. I want children but I have no intention of marrying. Look at Angelina Jolie. If she can do it, I can do it.”

When you see how Drea financially supported herself after she semi-retired from acting, you have to ask which dreams matter for Drea de Matteo? She claimed to have been nearly bankrupt before she joined the O.F. site. She is not that popular, so it’s possible that she kept herself afloat by participating in some sort of hock tour. For example, I was so eager to move house that I sold most of my vinyls (which were in the hundreds). Even if it meant having to live in a slightly smaller house, I was prepared to give away most of my DVDs, video and books. Desperate times call for desperature measures, especially if you’re a woman who intends to literally measure herself so as to maximize her sexiness for profit.

You would think that she would have been at least considered for a role in Tom Cruise’s Rock of Ages - a 2012 adaptation of a 2009 Broadway hit. Other sapphic actresses were cast: Julianne Hough, Mary J. Blige and Malin Åkerman. Filming began a month after Drea gave birth to her second child.

There should be a scripted TV series that should do for hard rock what Nashville did for country, and what Empire did for hip-hop.

Taylor Swift has weaved a tangled web for the world wide web. The above photo was taken in November 2008. MTV’s My Super Sweet 16 began airing in January 2008, so they didn’t luck out because no one chose to look out. When the casting of Pretty Little Liars began in October 2009, Ashley Tisdale was the first choice for the role of Alison. She rejected it, so Sasha Pieterse became the one who got to kiss Shay Mitchell. In 2003, Ashley had taken a girl as a date to the prom. As for women in general who have been pictured with Taylor Swift, here is a bunch of stuff that I have learned.

A-list actresses Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Stone, Kristen Stewart and Dakota Johnson (the star of Madame Web) have played lesbians. Brie Larson is another millennial A-list actress but one who hasn’t played a lesbian, so it makes sense why Taylor Swift seemingly refused to have her photo taken with Brie. If they are friends, you could argue that they are doing this so as to communicate a message that only someone as perceptive as me would pick up on. Conversely, Juno Temple had her photo taken with Brie Larson but not with the other four A-listers. Juno’s photo op with Brie was in 2024; many years after they had worked with each other on Greenberg (2010). However, there is a 2016 photo where Juno was seen being hugged by Saoirse Ronan in the ladies room while Dakota Johnson and Karlie Kloss were nearby. This was during the 2016 Met Gala, which Taylor Swift had attended. Ironically, Juno and Dakota were in the same film - Black Mass (2015).

Let’s return to the subject of women who have been photographed with Taylor Swift: Hilary Duff and Jessica Szohr kissed in two 2009 episodes of Gossip Girl. Blake Lively was the star of that series, so it’s serendipitous that she had kissed Anna Kendrick in A Simple Favor (2018). This is like a game of telephone, albeit sapphic style. Malin Akerman starred in Friendsgiving (2020) where Kat Dennings is kissed by Aisha Tyler. This reminds me of Ireland Baldwin, who had a relationship with a black female rapper named Angel Haze (who didn’t have her Taylor Swift photo moment like Ireland did). Hilarie Burton kissed Jessica Capshaw in Grey’s Anatomy (2013). Jessica’s mother, Kate Capshaw, kissed Elle Macpherson in A Girl Thing (2001). The chain is broken since Elle never had her photo taken with Taylor, but Kate was in a film with Ellen DeGeneres - a lesbian who interviewed Taylor on her chat show. The film was called The Love Letter (1999).

In Hollywood, so many common denominators have kissed each other that the literal compatibility of their chemistry reminds me of the DNA-defying sexuality of a 1989 horror film called Society. Christina Applegate and Christy Turlington have similar outing stories. Tammy Lynn Michaels claimed on her Hollywood Farmgirl blog that Applegate is attracted to women. Tammy knows a thing or two about lesbianism since she was the ex-girlfriend of Melissa Etheridge - the first musical inspiration of Taylor Swift. As for Christy Turlington, she was exposed in 1991 after paparazzi had caught her kissing Cindy Crawford behind the Roxy nightclub in New York. Besides photos of Turlington kissing other women, what confirms Cindy’s sapphism is an anecdote from Jenna Jameson’s memoir about Cindy flirting with her at a Planet Hollywood in Bangkok circa 1997.

As for other closeted women, Maureen McCormick claimed on a radio show that she once kissed Eve Plumb and had a crush on her, though her publicist later clarified that it was an “innocent” kiss. That doesn’t change how flirtatious that Maureen was with Anna Heinrich on I’m A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here! in 2015. Julie Bowen is less cowardly because she admitted that she once fell in love with a woman but it was unrequited. No matter how strident that Julie was for insisting on being straight, the mosaic of sapphic women in Taylor Swift’s life makes Julie look like a puzzling piece. Besides, Julie starred in a film with an actress who looks like Taylor i.e. You’re Killing Me… (1999) co-starred Traci Lords. The prospect of kissing another woman in a production, including a music video, can be an ice-breaker in knowing if either woman has already kissed one before. It can be a gateway for women who previously thought that they were straight.

Swift has been photographed next to actresses whose characters have kissed women but they, themselves, have not self-outed. These actresses are Katherine Heigl, Ashley Greene, Rooney Mara, Olivia Munn, Serayah McNeill, Amanda Seyfried, Meryl Streep, Hailee Steinfeld, Barbra Streisand, Amy Adams, Mariska Hargitay, Gwyneth Paltrow, Rose Leslie, Mila Kunis, Sarah Hyland, Nicole Kidman, Minka Kelly, Pauley Perrette, Kiernan Shipka, Taraji P. Henson, Reese Witherspoon, Zendaya, Margaret Qualley and Kate Beckinsale. As for women who are out (with different labels), this includes Zoë Kravitz, Anna Paquin, Dianna Agron, Mae Whitman, Maisie Williams and Suki Waterhouse. It just so happens that Swift has won enough awards to be used as dildos for a massive orgy. This may seem like a ham-fisted joke but even Will Smith wanted a harem.

As for sapphic vocalists, Taylor Swift has performed with Alanis Morissette, Mary J. Blige, Joan Baez, Emeli Sandé, Kelsea Ballerini, Jennifer Lopez, Phoebe Bridgers, Georgia Nott, Florence Welch, Maren Morris and Hayley Kiyoko. It remains to be seen if Chappell Roan, Megan Thee Stallion, Cassadee Pope, Ariana Grande and Bebe Rexha will go on tour with Taylor. One thing is for sure, Selena Gomez stands head and shoulders above all of them. She has known Taylor since she was 16 years old. When Selena turned 16 in 2008, Taylor was 18 (she turned 19 in December). Taylor’s bond with her has outlasted the one that Taylor had with Karlie Kloss. In fact, Karlie is a red herring. The girl squad is a mirage. The number of celebrities that Taylor surrounds herself with, such as the circus of cameos on her 1989 tour, are mirrors that hide the smoke which indicates fire. This tour, in 2015, was when the ambition looked like desperation. Ironically, Selena Gomez has been seen getting more intimate with Taylor’s back-up dancer - Charity Baroni.

About the above event, somebody was clearly picking up on the lesbian roulette fashion that is more common in the entertainment industry than you think. Still, you won’t see out-lesbian Melissa Etheridge literally standing in solidarity with Taylor despite being Taylor’s first influence. With 13 being Taylor’s lucky number, you would think that she would have married Travis Kelce on the day before Valentine’s day i.e. Friday, February 13, 2026. She even turned 13 on Friday the 13th in 2002. But her supposed preference for cock can now be called cockamamie by the Americans, and poppycock by the British. Speaking of British, it’s curious that bi actress Juno Temple (also born in 1989) has not been photographed with Taylor despite how many common acquaintances that they share, and how long that both ladies have been in show business.

In August 2014, they could be seen in Weinstein-produced movies i.e. Juno in Sin City: A Dame to Kill For, and Taylor in The Giver. Before you say anything about not having the luck of the draw, both women attended the same event on January 11, 2015 i.e. a Golden Globes afterparty held by The Weinstein Company and Netflix in Beverly Hills. Even Cara Delevingne, their main common denominator, was present. The location was the Beverly Hilton hotel. About the 2014 photo, Sabrina Carpenter played the younger version of Juno’s character in the Weinstein-distributed Horns (2014). As such, they attended the afterparty for the Hollywood premiere on the day before Halloween. Ten years later, Sabrina came out with a song called Juno.

Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Rihanna and Fergie have dated women. Perry is the reason why I wrote this article. She is the sapphic equivalent to Kevin Bacon in the music industry. The sheer number of queer women photographed with her only serves to highlight the awkwardness of Brie Larson not having her photo taken with Taylor Swift, especially since Brie was a recording artist at one point. Their social circles overlap but not each other. Swift has been photographed with Emma Stone, Dakota Johnson, Jennifer Lawrence and Kristen Stewart (as has Perry). It’s even more awkward when you consider that Swift and Ruby Rose spoke onstage during the 27th Annual GLAAD Media Awards in April 2016.

Perry and Swift were known to have feuded, but you can have a fake romance (and I don’t mean bearding), so why not a fake feud? For Perry and Swift to have a feud was a convenient away to draw attention from the sapphic connections which bind them. You wouldn’t know it from the thousands of photos on Getty Images that Perry has met Dakota Johnson. In March 2015, they attended a Chanel yacht party in New York. On the G.I. site, you can see photos of Katy meeting Cara Delevingne, and Cara meeting Dakota Johnson but never Katy with Dakota at the same time. The below photo was taken two Marchs later.

At the Met Gala in May 2019, Dakota encountered Katy when the latter was dressed as a burger. The irony is that it was Celine Dion who could be seen kissing Katy on the lips, if not Frenching. There must be a conspiratorial agenda over at the G.I. site because Katy can be seen with every big female pop star (including Dolly Parton) except Christina Aguilera, a bisexual who attended the same fashion event in January 2018 (i.e. Stella McCartney’s autumn collection launch). Ironically, G.I. lets you see photos with the following pairings: Katy with Brie Larson, Kristen Stewart with Dakota Johnson, and Brie with Dakota. But you have to go beyond G.I. to see photos of Kristen with Taylor Swift.

It’s not like G.I. has a staunch rule that shows a refusal to post paparazzi photos. Regardless of whether we’re talking about lesbians or bisexual women, there are a lot of women-loving women in the entertainment industry. Sapphic women are not that much of a niche despite the perception in the mainstream that is controlled by the heteronormative media. You know something is off when a celebrity claims that she refuses to put a label on her sexual orientation. Queer is a misleading word; it can be a way to hit two birds with one stone when referring to lesbians and bisexual women or it can be a way for a woman to reveal herself as a lesbian without the stigma that the word comes with.

A “gal pal” is another misleading term. With the exception of the women in the cover, here is a list of the sapphic vocalists who had their photo taken with Katy Perry: Grace Jones, P!nk, Christina Aguilera, Kylie Minogue, Mel B, Lily Allen, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, Rita Ora, Lady Gaga, Ice Spice, Grace Potter, Madonna, Rebecca Black, Janelle Monáe, Ellie Goulding, Miley Cyrus, Bonnie McKee, Cardi B, Miranda Kerr, Halsey, Sia, SZA, Missy Elliott, Kelly Osbourne, Young Miko, Anne Clark, Ke$ha, Billie Eilish, FKA Twigs, Bebe Rexha and Doechii. This list doesn’t include women who claim to no longer have non-platonic feelings for women: Jessie J, Nicki Minaj and Cyndi Lauper. When it comes to major female singers in general, it’s easier to identify who hasn’t had their picture taken with Katy Perry: Shakira, Nelly Furtado, LeAnn Rimes, Avril Lavigne, Amy Winehouse, Melissa Etheridge, Brandi Carlile and K.D. Lang.

Those last three are unabashedly out lesbians whereas Amy Winehouse a bi who died in 2011. She was a friend of Russell Brand, who split up with Perry later that year. Back to the homophobic agenda of Getty Images, Shannon Woodward isn’t credited in half of her 2012 photos with Perry. Shannon has been an on-screen actress since the early nineties, and she wasn’t an obscure actress in 2012. Shannon was one of the stars of a TV series called Raising Hope. It was even aired on England’s Sky One channel. Officially, Taylor Swift dated John Mayer from late 2009 to early 2010 whereas Perry dated him from 2012 to 2015. There are photos of the ladies being friendly from 2008 to 2013, but they only fell out in 2014 before reconciling in 2018.

Katy Perry is less of an actress than Madonna but has had no less luck in getting her photo taken with A-list film stars, especially of the female kind. This is particularly worthy of note because Katy wasn’t married to a film actor like Madonna was. At the 73rd Golden Globes, which transpired in January 2016, Katy met Brie Larson and Jennifer Lawrence on separate occasions. In October 2016, Katy sat with Emma Stone and Kristen Stewart at a Vogue event in Chateau Marmont - the Los Angeles hotel for celebrities. This was twelve months before the takedown of Harvey Weinstein. In 2016, Katy socialized with Harvey’s wife (Georgina Chapman) at two events. In January, there was a Golden Globes party hosted by The Weinstein Company and Netflix at The Beverly Hilton Hotel.

Then in May 2016, there was amfAR’s 23rd Cinema Against AIDS Gala at Hotel du Cap-Eden-Roc in Cap d’Antibes, France. Generally, Katy’s first attendance at a Weinstein event was a TWC celebration of the Academy Awards on February 25, 2012 (the day before the 84th ceremony). In May 2018, Harvey Weinstein was arrested. This was seven months after the Me Too Movement gained steam in October 2017. May 2018 is significant because that’s when Taylor Swift reconciled with Katy. If Katy was evil in terms of being guilty by association, it wouldn’t have made sense knowing how many actresses that Taylor is a friend of. Unbeknownst to the average Joe and Joan in the public, there was a coup being organized by many wronged women in showbiz.

There is a lesbian music executive named Lauren Glucksman. She has been one of Katy’s friends for over a decade, and became Ellie Goulding’s personal assistant. However, Lauren went on to be romantically linked with an actress named Anna Kendrick, who sang as well as acted in the Pitch Perfect trilogy. One of the actresses in this trilogy was Brittany Snow. Like Anna, she attended an event hosted by a suicide prevention organization aimed at young queers. The organization, The Trevor Project, threw an event called “Honoring Katy Perry” at the Hollywood Palladium in December 2012. Brittany and Anna spoke separately on stage.

Four years earlier, Brittany attended a MySpace presentation: Katy Perry at the opening of ROK Vegas at the New York Hotel and Casino on August 30 in Las Vegas. Four months earlier marked the release of Katy’s LGBT anthem called I Kissed a Girl. Many years later, Brittany became known as the star of a sapphic TV series called The Hunting Wives (this adaptation of a novel began airing in July 2025). Co-star Malin Akerman was photographed next to Perry in May 2010, and she had already kissed a woman on camera - Emmanuelle Chriqui in an episode of Entourage (2006). Malin would later kiss Kate Miccuci in an episode of Easy (2016). Back to 2010, Malin could be seen kissing Zandy Hartig in an episode of Childrens Hospital that aired in September.

Katy Perry’s song about kissing a girl became her calling card to attract women, but the song also became a beacon for other women to subliminally communicate to sapphic-minded women. All that a woman would have to do is be pictured with her, and those in the know would get the point. Case in point is Aimee Teegarden - an actress who stood next to Perry during Kira Plastinina’s U.S. launch at a custom-built venue on June 14, 2008 in Los Angeles. Aimee, seen on the left below, later played a lesbian in a film that was only shown at the Miami International Film Festival in March 2017. A Change of Heart stars Jim Belushi. Other notables in the cast included Virginia Madsen, Kathy Najimy, Dawn Olivieri and Gloria Estefan. Had this film become at least a TV or streaming movie, Cody Horn’s acting career wouldn’t have ended.

Coding is not just a computer term but a term in Hollywood to describe people who put in clues. One example of a lesbian Easter egg happened in January 2010 when bisexual actress Amber Heard stood next to Perry in a group shot with Nicole Richie and Rachel Bilson. Similarly, bisexual actress Zoe Saldaña was seated next to fellow lady lovers at a Paris fashion event in September 2008. Besides Perry, these women were Lily Allen, Dita Von Teese and Emma Watson. In what could be called an urban version of Taylor Swift’s girl squad, Perry found herself in a queer posse at a New York fashion event ten years later. In May 2018, she was among different shades of black women - actress Lena Waithe, singer Janelle Monáe and actress Tessa Thompson. Rounding out the group for good measure was author Cleo Wade.

Milla Jovovich kissed a black actress, Aisha Tyler, in .45 (2006). Milla and Katy Perry attended the 190th Wetten, dass ...? show at Olympiahalle in Munich on October 2, 2010. Bisexual black actress Jada Pinkett Smith embraced Perry at the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards in Los Angeles on March 31, 2012. In April 2013, Sofia Vergara and Perry attended a cocktail reception following a White House dinner party at the residence of the French Ambassador in Washington. Sofia kissed women in both Hot Pursuit (2015) and Griselda (2025). Eva Longoria kissed Maria Bravo in Carlita’s Secret (2004), Teri Hatcher in Desperate Housewives (2009) and Kate del Castillo in Without Men (2011). Not only did Longoria meet Perry backstage at a Vienna ball in May 2009, but they performed together in a touchy-feely way at the MTV Europe Music Awards in Madrid on November 7, 2010.

In April 2009, Katy Perry posed with Hayden Panettiere at Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida. Hayden kissed Madeline Zima in an episode of Heroes (2010) and Brittany Shaw in an episode of Nashville (2013). Lyndsy Fonseca kissed Melonie Diaz in Remember the Daze (2007). In 2007, Lyndsy’s Heroes character - April - was meant to be revealed as a lesbian in a recurring role but the actress became a regular on Desperate Housewives, so April’s journey ended there. Lyndsy Fonseca is officially a member of the Katy Perry fan club because she was photographed with her backstage at the CW Network's 2010 presentation at Madison Square Garden. A month later, June, Lyndsy attended Katy’s MTV Movie Awards after party. Ashley Tisdale was also at the MSG event, and had been photographed with Katy in that place two years earlier for a Christmas event.

Ashley Tisdale was also seen with Katy at the premiere of Michael Jackson’s This Is It on October 27, 2009 at the Nokia Theatre in Los Angeles. Ashley kissed women in Scary Movie 5 (2013) and Young & Hungry (2014 - 2016). In November 2015, Katy could be seen hugging actress Erin Foster at a private dinner to celebrate Barneys New York in L.A. Earlier that year, Erin mentioned on VH1’s Barely Famous that she used to date Samantha Ronson. Katy was seen with Lena Hall in 2014, and in 2013 when Lena was known as Celina Carvajal. Lena has played enough queer characters to make you speculate. Then we have another Lena - Dunham, who once described herself on Instagram as not straight.

I will present to you two lists of names who have been photographed alongside Katy Perry. The first list consists of women who have played sapphic characters: Kristin Cavallari, Jennifer Aniston, Alison Williams, Jaime King, Audrina Patridge, Carrie-Anne Moss and Jessica Chastain. The second list consists of women who are known to have sapphic relations in real life (actresses or otherwise): Demi Moore, Christina Milian, Bella Hadid, Amber Valletta, Chelsea Handler, Amanda Bynes, Charlize Theron, Aubrey Plaza, Cynthia Erivo and Julianne Hough.

I wonder how Ruby Rose feels that there is a new celebrity by the name of Ruby Rose Turner. SAG’s strict rules should have made the newcomer ditch the Rose because it might interfere with the online algorithms. Katy Perry had to change her name from Katy Hudson because of the actress who she later socialized with on a frequent basis. Katy’s only album as Katy Hudson was released in 2001 - a year after Kate Hudson became famous with Almost Famous.

The meaning of this name is fiery. Seraphine is the birth name of Seri DeYoung - an actress who is also a writer, producer, photographer, cinematographer and director. Regarding the latter, two of her male inspirations are Denis Villenueve and Alfonso Cuaron. Two of Seri’s favourite directors are Nicolas Winding Refn and Paul Thomas Anderson. When it comes to cinematography, one of her mentors was Bill Pope. Seri worked with him on Frank Miller’s The Spirit (2008) where she was employed as the stand-in for Scarlett Johansson. Ironically, Seri DeYoung looks more like Naomi Watts. On The Spirit, Seri was credited as Seraphine DeYoung. Bill Pope had to have been reminded of the character Seraph from the first two sequels to The Matrix. As a screenwriter, one of Seri’s mentors was Mark Fergus - one of the four guys who were credited for the screenplay of Iron Man (2008).

Her IMDB page doesn’t reveal it but Seri DeYoung had a recurring role on a spin-off to The L Word called Generation Q. Seri was trained in Taekwondo, and she can also snowboard. If someone in Hollywood ever decides to do a gender-reversed reboot of xXx (2002), they could cast her and call it xXina (about an ex-con named Christina since X means Christ). You can see a little bit of Seri DeYoung’s TKD in a mini-pilot called Gringas (2011). She appeared in Steven Seagal’s The Keeper (2009) and an episode of Jean-Claude Van Johnson (2017). If Seri ever gets to have a main role in an action film, it could easily be the villain because she has been dying to play an antagonist after playing a criminal in a few episodes of S.W.A.T.

Seri DeYoung was raised in New Mexico, which is where Eric Stoltz used to live when he was in a relationship with Bridget Fonda. Seri appeared in an episode of Breaking Bad, which ironically Eric didn’t work on as either actor or director. With Los Angeles being so expensive to film, New Mexico is one of the more affordable places to shoot. New Mexico’s tax incentive program allowed Seri DeYoung to audition and work in the industry while she was still at school. Although she moved to Los Angeles to pursue an acting career, Seri never put New Mexico well behind her. On September 28, 2024, that was where she married Otha Cole. He worked with her as a screenwriter and producer on a short film called Unfaithful! This brings to mind something else - Seri’s tweets about black people’s rights have more weight to them than the average white celebrity because of her interracial marriage.

In February 2025, Unfaithful! won Best Comedy Short at the Santa Fe Film Festival. One of Seri DeYoung’s earlier short films, Still Life, debuted at this festival on December 10, 2016. This had finished filming by Sunday, February 1, 2015 whereas post-production was complete by the end of August. Let’s get back to her Taekwondo training. Seri’s instructor was Denise Møller Farrell. You would think that Seri would have become a stuntwoman (double or not) or even a choreographer, but no. Having said that, there are more female choreographers in America than there were in Hong Kong. Then again, H.K. is even slower in another area. It took many decades for that industry to have a casting director as a credited profession. Seri’s cinematography mentor, Bill Pope, had worked with H.K. stunt professionals on The Matrix and its first two sequels. He also worked with H.K. maestro Dion Lam on Spider-Man 2 (2004). Like the Wachowskis, Sam Raimi is a big fan of H.K. cinema.

Over a dozen years ago, Seri DeYoung had performed stand-up at The Comedy Store and Laugh Factory as part of MTV’s Comedy Showcase. She only did it for fun, but that could have segued into other things had someone took her up on it. Here is a sample of herself in a sketch piece. In this decade, Seri had learned about on-set editing after reading interviews with Bong Joon Ho and his editor Yang Jin-mo. In an interview from a site that is no longer around, director James Gunn compared South Korean cinema to Hong Kong cinema in terms of the peerless mixing of genres. Much like the turn of the century, we are once again living in an era where contemporary Korean cinema has more relevance than contemporary Hong Kong cinema. The only difference is that K-pop wasn’t popular in the West two decades ago, but then neither was Cantopop. Back to Seri DeYoung, her first audition in 2016 was for a martial arts film but she didn’t specify what film this was.

Ironically, Seri wasn’t cast in Britt Sheflin’s Revenge of the Rising Sun. It was made in 2013 but released in 2020. This short film was edited by Devin Schiro: one of Seri’s regular collaborators - either as cinematographer or editor (both of these roles were performed by him for a 2013 film of hers called Daisy). Also, he has been her glamour photographer many times. Devin worked as a still photographer on her ex-boyfriend’s Four Winds (before 2013), and he worked as a colorist on Still Life (2015). In the case of Revenge of the Rising Sun, Devin worked with producer/writer Craig Greager on the color grading by using a 1980 Kung Fu movie as a reference i.e. Fists of Dragons (a.k.a. Cunning Kids). Unlike Seri DeYoung, director Britt Sheflin studied Wushu. Craig was one of the actors as well as Britt’s boyfriend.

A person’s Facebook fan-page or Twitter log helps provide info that otherwise wouldn’t be available on IMDB, especially regarding filming dates or even ADR dates. You wouldn’t know it from her IMDB page but Seri DeYoung participated as both producer and actress in Burning Kentucky. This was released in 2019 but it was first made in 2014 with different casting. In fact, casting began in the week prior to the below photo. Originally, Ronnie Gene Blevins played Rule, Dara Tiller played Jolene, Luke Loving played Arlo, and writer/director Bethany Brooke Anderson (below) played Millie. This would suggest that the original film was a proof of concept, which are usually shorts anyway. The second version was done in 2017.

The released version runs for an hour and a half. Speaking of having a significant other half, it’s a wonder that the aforementioned Eric Stoltz didn’t marry Bridget Fonda despite having acted in four of the same films - Singles (1992), Bodies, Rest & Motion (1993), Grace of my Heart (1996) and Mr. Jealousy (1997). As for Seri DeYoung, the aforementioned ex-boyfriend was Nick Brokaw. He had co-produced Daisy (which Seri wrote and directed). Nick worked as an assistant director on this, Still Life (2015), LA Stories (a 2014 short where Seri only acted) and In Touch (a 2014 short that had Seri in front and behind the camera).

Before that, Nick Brokaw wrote, directed and produced a short (Four Winds) where Seri worked as both actress and assistant camera operator from 2010 to 2011. As such, she participated in the promotion of it at the Cannes Film Festival in May 2013. Seri went there again in 2016 for Still Life. There is a pragmatic convenience that comes from casting yourself as well as your loved ones, as Seri noted in a May 2015 article for Pyragraph: “For my second short film, In Touch, I cast myself out of convenience. I didn’t want to pay an actress, or risk her flaking/rescheduling.”

Time for some tweets from Seri DeYoung…

Jan 15, 2020: No one on Breaking Bad actually knew what burqueños talk like. No shade, they really just didn’t know.

Mar 10, 2020: Last night I dreamed that a Starbucks barista was really mean to me and I complained and then they gave me a $60 gift card. This....this is the stunning narrative my white girl brain is spinning in my subconscious. Just, wow.

Mar 19, 2020: Really missing the days when I could greet my friends by licking them on the mouth. :(

Apr 22, 2020: I just emailed a production asking for footage for something I shot last year and they responded immediately and sent me a download link in under an hour. Honestly in this haphazard time a moment of pure efficiency is just so beautiful I could cry.

Jun 30, 2020: To the white woman I just saw with the fake poofy lips walking through a busy sidewalk wearing a tank top that says “spiritual gangster” and NO MASK: absolutely f*ck you.

Aug 10, 2020: All the men on Raya either look like American Psycho type murderers or like they do mountains of coke every weekend or some combination of the two.

Mar 7, 2021: Men will really screenshot the entire map of their run, a literal map to their home, and post it on the internet.

May 10, 2021: If Spike Jonze had written Her in 2021 they would have made him turn it into a quirky Hulu original series starring Paul Rudd and everyone would love it but it would be worse.

Aug 10, 2021: The difference between people in LA and people in San Diego is that people in LA are great at pretending that they’re really happy. Whereas people in SD are just actually happy.

Oct 29, 2021: Spotify cannot tell the difference between the music I listen to like for real and the music I listen to as a joke and that’s why AI will never take over.

Jan 23, 2022: I genuinely cannot imagine caring about anything as much as my neighbors care about football. They are screaming. Like is your best friend on the team? They’re so emotional I don’t understand.

Aug 6, 2022: I feel bad for people who grew up in LA. Most of y’all would have been the legit hottest and coolest kid in a smaller town, like you would have absolutely ruled your high school. But instead you were out here, bland and mediocre by LA standards. You could have been royalty.

Jun 7, 2023: Those first few episodes of Love Is Blind should be a podcast. Voice only. We shouldn’t get to see them either.

Nov 2, 2023: This strike is absolutely becoming my villain origin story.

Dec 3, 2023: I just started watching the first season of The Morning Show and while I LOVE it I am also horrified by the unrestrained use of facial CGI on the women. It’s distracting and hurts my soul low key.

May 10, 2024: I can always tell when a scene in a moving car is not actually filmed in a moving car and I hate it. Idc how much the tech has progressed, I can tell, sorry. You look like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Aug 16, 2024: As an Aries, I have never been demure for one second of my entire life.

Sep 19, 2024: I’m sorry but a lot of you don’t know how to wear a bucket hat. You look like a lampshade.

How you make an exit is just as important as how you make an entrance. In another life, Seri could have been a costume designer as evidenced by her Etsy page. She could also have been a journalist. In 2015, an article of hers for “Seed and Spark” was reposted on IndieWire whereas Seri had written several articles on Pyragraph - a currently defunct site.

These two actresses dated Eric Stoltz. Jennifer Jason Leigh and Ally Sheedy. Ally wanted Eric to play the character that Matthew Broderick ended up playing in WarGames (1983). Matthew’s two most popular girlfriends were Helen Hunt (in the ‘80s) and Sarah Jessica Parker (in the ‘90s). Both actresses starred in Girls Just Want to Have Fun (1985). Eric never got to act with Sarah but he acted with Helen in The Waterdance (1992) and Mad About You (six episodes from 1994 to 1998). Because she looked so mature for her age, Kelly LeBrock was never thought of as being a member of the brat pack despite starring in a John Hughes movie. In the November 21, 1986 issue of The Straits Times, it was reported that she attended Ally Sheedy’s 23rd birthday party in 1985. Wouldn’t you know it, Sheedy was in a TV movie with Helen Hunt and Jennifer Jason Leigh (below).

By the way, I wrote a similar article called Hollywood Causality. There was a model and actress who not only resembled Kelly LeBrock but had worked with her friend Joan Collins on a film. In Homework (1982), Joy Michael played a younger version of Joan’s character, and was even hired to be her stand-in. Kelly, herself, was once thought of as a younger Jacqueline Bisset clone, right down to the same flat English acccent. Jacqueline’s best friend, Fiona Lewis, is an actress who had a remarkable resemblance to Kelly. Could Fiona and Jacqueline be secret relatives? Fiona can speak French and even worked in France. Jacqueline’s mother was half French. Kelly’s father was French-Canadian, and her first husband - Victor Drai - used to live in France. Adding to the eeriness is that Victor had even dated Jacqueline, who has a French background.

If you think that’s surreal, check out this - Angelina Jolie looking like Kelly LeBrock may not be a coincidence when you see Jolie with Jacqueline Bisset at the premiere of Original Sin (below). The woman on the left is Jolie’s mother: Marcheline Betrand. She was an actress of, get this, French-Canadian descent. The amount of overlapping relationships in showbiz can border on incest when you think about the love childs. Joy Michael’s film career ended after her fourth film, Johnny Dangerously, was released in December 1984. Joy’s second film, Surf II, had a supporting role from Eric Stoltz. He is a year younger than Kelly LeBrock. They are not known to have dated each other but he did date an English actress named Annabel Brooks. What connects Eric with Kelly is that they were simultaneously starring in sci-fi teen films produced by Universal in 1984. Weird Science was only her second film whereas Fear City was Joy Michael’s third film prior to the making of Weird Science.

In the September 26, 1985 issue of Australian Post, it was revealed that Kelly LeBrock had turned down Victor Drai’s offer to audition for The Bride (1985) in order to do a different kind of Frankenstein film - Weird Science (1985). People in the entertainment industry like to have real stories that entertain the audience as much as the scripted ones, so it was really not a coincidence for Kelly LeBrock to star in a remake (The Woman in Red) of a French film (Un éléphant ça trompe énormément). In fact, it was Victor Drai’s idea to remake the 1976 film in 1983. He married Kelly in January 1984, as reported in a Toronto Sun newspaper called Sunday Showcase (in the May 20, 1984 issue). The irony should not be lost on people about what Alan Jones wrote in his review of Weird Science in the November 1985 issue (#87) of Starburst: “There is a certain mascohistic delight in watching ex-model LeBrock trying to act and fail miserably. If you liked Surf II or Porky’s Revenge, this may well be your type of entertainment.”

Kelly Emberg was originally cast as Lisa in Weird Science because Kelly LeBrock had rejected the role. Instead of Emberg, Joy Michael could have been cast on the simple basis of being a doppelganger. A similar type of casting logic was justified when the Michael J. Fox lookalike was cast in Back to the Future. Eric Stoltz has a peculiar connection to the aforementioned Fiona Lewis because her husband, Art Linson, produced three films that Eric was in - Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982), Singles (1992) and The Wild Life (1984). Art directed Eric in the latter and produced Casualties of War (1989) starring Michael J. Fox. Art had even produced a film starring Eric’s then-girlfriend i.e. Bridget Fonda in Point of No Return (1993). This is a remake of a French film called La Femme Nikita (1990).

In the above photo, Jennifer Jason Leigh and Amanda Wyss had no idea that they would end being romantically linked with Eric Stoltz. On July 8, 1985, Amanda was described as Eric’s date in a photo caption depicting the premiere of Silverado at Mann’s Chinese Theatre in Hollywood. In 1985, the film’s star (Kevin Kline) began dating Phoebe Cates - Jennifer’s friend long after they finished acting in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. One of the actresses in Silverado was Rosanna Arquette, who played Eric’s girlfriend in Pulp Fiction (1994). As much as Eric got around, that pales in comparison to Jennifer. She is really popular with the Baldwin brothers. In 1988, she acted with Stephen in Last Exit to Brooklyn before acting with Alec in Miami Blues. Three months after Miami Blues came out in April 1990, William Baldwin wanted in on that action when he began working with Jennifer on Backdraft.

Alec and Ally Sheedy could be seen in She’s Having a Baby (1988). They were said to have dated in real life. Many years later, Ally attended the premiere of Just For the Time Being (1999) with Chynna Phillips since the latter was married to William. Next up, we have Lea Thompson being the star of a 1988 film (Casual Sex?) that featured Andrew Dice Clay - the significance being that he was the roommate of Thomas F. Wilson. This was Lea’s colleague from Back to the Future (1985). Speaking of which, Eric Stoltz’s best friend as a teenager was Anthony Edwards. This actor’s wife is Mare Winningham whose best friend is Jennifer Jason Leigh. Like Eric with Anthony, Jennifer knew Mare as far back as the 1970s. Mare acted with Ally in St. Elmo’s Fire around the same time that Eric was playing Marty McFly in Back to the Future. After Eric was fired, he attended the premiere of Ally’s The Breakfast Club in January 1985. You can see the photos in my WordPress article called Symmetry. Tom Cruise looked more happy than Eric did.

On the subject of Tom Cruise, the above actresses - Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Jason Leigh - were in Stanley Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut (1999). Unfortunately, Jennifer was replaced. The upside was that she reunited with Nicole on Margot at the Wedding (2007). According to Bryan Callen, he did a reading with Cruise, Stoltz and Amy Smart for a Todd Phillips film called Men. Bryan was reading what was going to be Owen Wilson’s character but the film didn’t get made. I learned this from a YouTube video titled Joe Rogan - Tom Cruise is Crazy but AWESOME! Stoltz had already acted with Cruise in Jerry Maguire (1996) but he didn’t reunite with Crispin Glover in a film after Back to the Future. Crispin later worked with Robert Zemeckis on Beowulf (2007) co-starring Angelina Jolie.

The Angelina Jolie of the 1980s was Kelly LeBrock. Well, in terms of looks if not career. However, they are equally bisexual. In Claudia Christian's 2012 memoir, there was a September 1984 anecdote about something that happened in a West Hollywood nightclub. This was prior to Kelly filming Weird Science (where she replaced Kelly Emberg). The club was called Tramp. They were with Victor Drai, LeBrock’s husband at the time, and Rod Stewart - not Claudia’s boyfriend. Claudia said: “She pushed me back into the bathroom stall as I was exiting, locked the door, pinned me up against the wall, and kissed me on the mouth. It was the first time I'd been kissed by a woman, and it was one of the sexiest moments of my life.”

The twist is that Rod Stewart was someone who Kelly LeBrock had been sleeping with during her marriage to Victor Drai from 1984 to 1986 (the spouses underwent a trial separation by July 1985). The Tramp club was owned by Joan Collins - a friend of Kelly as proven by a 1996 photo of them with Valentino Garavani, Luisa Mattioli and Geoffrey Moore in Gstaad, Switzerland where they were situated inside the Olden Restaurant. On the Imago Images site, Geoffrey was credited as Jeffrey. The surnames of Valentino and Luisa were absent (I guess the logic is that something so good should not have easy access). In the February 17, 1996 issue (#394) of Hello!, there was an article about Geoffrey being Kelly’s boyfriend. This was reiterated in the November 1996 issue of an Italian magazine called Chi. This means “who” but Chi in Chinese means life force.

Weird Science producer Joel Silver missed a beat with Kelly LeBrock. Despite having a reputation for being an action movie producer, he failed to take stock of the fact that she is a tomboy whose love for the country life would have made her ideal for a Western. Kelly would have been perfect for Bad Girls (1994), but Hard Bounty (1995) was a consolation prize seeing as how it began filming a couple of months after the release of the Western that co-starred Andie MacDowell. Kelly and Andie had modelled together in the early eighties. Fate reunited them outside of modelling. They both share the distinction of being bested by Glenn Close. In the September 1989 issue of Orange Coast magazine, it was revealed that Kelly had failed to land the main female role in Fatal Attraction (1987) despite three call-backs. As for Andie, her dialogue was dubbed by Glenn for Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes (1984).

Back to producer Joel Silver, he made a name for himself by producing action films starring all the heavy hitters but it took him a long time to work with Kelly LeBrock’s husband - Steven Seagal. By the time that both men worked together for Executive Decision in 1995, Steven’s film career had gone down considerably. It had almost been a year since he had separated from Kelly. When Joel began filming Hudson Hawk in July 1990, not only had it been five months since the release of Seagal’s Hard to Kill, but it had been even longer since the film had finished filming. In September 1989, the Seagal film was originally known as Seven Year Storm and it was going to be released later that year. It was only in August 1990 that Andie MacDowell began filming Hudson Hawk. Ironically, Seagal said in April 1994: “The most outstanding thing about Kelly is that she’s very funny. She’s a great comedian with a wonderful sense of humor.”

In the July/August 1993 issue of Spy, Joe Hyams was interviewed to talk about Steven Seagal. Joe had been the vice president of publicity at Warner Brothers since 1970. He was a martial arts buff, so himself and his wife (Elke Sommer) often housed Seagal early on in his career. Joe Hyams was also a friend of Kelly’s former agent, Jerry Pam. Joe had arranged a dinner where Seagal could meet Pam. It’s difficult to believe that Seagal hadn’t already seen the December 1985 issue of U.S. Vogue where Kelly could be seen in a Japan-themed photo shoot, but Joe Hyams said: “During dinner, Seagal asked Pam what was the best way to get publicity. Pam told him the best way was to be seen in the company of somebody famous. Later, Seagal asked if Pam could help him meet Kelly LeBrock. Pam told Seagal that Kelly was currently in Japan.”

The bigamist then flew to Japan to woo the woman who would become his third wife. Within a fortnight, they were lovers. But then we have the Ovitz connection. Michael Ovitz was already established as Hollywood’s number one agent before Steven Seagal had met Kelly LeBrock. Ovitz was already enamored with Japanese culture, which begs the question as to how he met Seagal in the first place. Ovitz wanted Warner Bros. to sign up Seagal, so he used director Richard Donner as a bargaining chip. Because of Seagal being signed, Donner was free to direct Lethal Weapon 2 (which was greenlit in 1987 and began filming in 1988). In actuality, Kelly LeBrock needed Seagal more than he needed her. She was put on a blacklist for wanting to sue Playboy when they used a tastefully obscured nude shot as a two page spread in their June 1986 issue.

I mentioned before that Kelly was in demand for what became Glenn Close’s role in Fatal Attraction. This was filmed from September to December 1986. Being rejected gave Kelly the freedom to get pregnant, so her first child was born in May 1987. The Italian word for May is Maggio, and it just so happens that Maggie Cheung played a character called May in Jackie Chan’s Police Story (1985). In the May 1987 issue of Vogue Italy, journalist Miro Silvera wrote about Kelly’s first film after giving birth. It was going to be a drama called Out. The U.S. release was scheduled for the fall of that year. Miro wrote: “She will play a troubled woman, the wife of a prisoner whose hardships are gradually driving her mad. And in a nursing home, her character will disfigure her beautiful face in a fit of violence.”

This was scrapped. Before the June 1986 issue of Playboy was published, it would appear that Kelly LeBrock may have known that her acting career was more finite when she said that she wouldn’t be returning to the cameras for a while. This was for The Spokane Chronicle in November 1985. While Kelly talked about not wanting to work for the sake of it, the scene in Weird Science where she had French-kissed a 15-year-old boy was a utopia for teenage boys but was an invite for indictment from mature adults. One could only hope that this being ignored was a sign of how many teen films involved teens being played by twentysomething actors. There are some curious double standards in Hollywood. Last year, Demi Moore was vilified when a 1982 video from Entertainment Tonight received new attention for how she kissed an actor during his 15th birthday party.

In 1978, Demi Moore lied about being 18 when she was 16 so that she could do a nude photo shoot. It’s telling that the photos were only published in 1981 but with her credited under an alias: Vivianne Pollentier. Even then, her age was referred to as 23. The Oui and Penthouse magazines didn’t find themselves in a quandary like when Marta Kober had her naughty footage removed from Friday the 13th Part II, which was released in the same year. She was 16 at the time of filming. Coincidentally, Kelly LeBrock had been a model since the age of 16 in 1976. This was the same year when audiences saw Jodie Foster play an underage hooker in Taxi Driver. Brooke Shields was 12 when she played a similar character in Pretty Baby (1978). It remains to be seen how much of a testing experience that modelling was for Kelly.

By the time that we get to the nineties, the salary hierarchy of the above actresses was as follows: Demi Moore, Jodie Foster, Brooke Shields, Kelly LeBrock and Marta Kober. Hollywood is such a perverted place that an underage p*rn star like Traci Lords could only be blacklisted in the p*rn world. She actually went on to have a more high-profile acting career than Marta Kober, who quit acting in 1995. Marta’s final credit was for an episode of Law & Order where she played a character called Chi Chi. Referring you to what I said before, the Italian translation would be Who Who. Despite having more children, Kelly LeBrock continued to act. As of now, she hasn’t done anything for the past four years (this also extends to her Instagram page).

In the left photo, Kelly is with Janice Dickinson. In the right photo, Kelly is with Rachel Hunter. The latter became a model at the age of 16. In 1998, she acted in an erotic thriller called Two Shades of Blue. Her co-star was Marlee Matlin, who later acted in the final three seasons of a lesbian TV series called The L Word. Marlee began acting in this series circa 2006. Later, Rachel Hunter played a lesbian in a Christina Hendricks film featuring an actress from The L Word i.e. Leisha Hailey in La Cucina (2007). Back to Two Shades of Blue, this was also the title of a 1998 Rod Stewart song. Knowing that Rod was a former flame of Kelly LeBrock, this adds more fuel to the fire that his marriage to Rachel lasted from 1990 to 1999.

As for the beige-attired woman in the above photo, Janice Dickinson is definitely bisexual. She has boasted many times about fornicating with many celebrities. Not only has she fornicated with Kelly LeBrock while they were coked out of their minds, but Janice had a threesome with Grace Jones and Dolph Lundgren. The latter confirms that he was left incapacitated because being worn out from sex wasn’t good for him when the time came to film fighting footage with Sylvester Stallone for Rocky IV (1985). This makes it all the more curious that it took Janice a long time to have her fling with Sly, but he already had his hands full.

Like many actresses, Grace Jones began her career as a model. In fact, Grace was a model before she became a singer. The sexually fluid nature of the entertainment industry calls into question the specific circumstances of what Claudia Christian mentioned in her 2012 memoir - Babylon Confidential: A Memoir of Love, Sex, and Addiction. In the eyes of an innocent reader, it would be easy to assume that Rod Stewart stole Kelly LeBrock from Victor Drai in a manner befitting the nature of a rock star à la Eric Clapton seducing Pattie Boyd away from George Harrison. For all we know, Rod and Victor may have shared Kelly as a partner if not simultaneously in bed.

About Steven Seagal’s marriage to Kelly ending in 1994, this was the same year when Sylvester Stallone could be seen hooking up with Janice Dickinson. Seagal is actually taller than Sly but is perceived as less manly (which includes the way that he runs). Relationships in Hollywood are notoriously fickle. In 1988, Sly met a model named Jennifer Flavin. They were in a relationship until they called it off in 1994 when Sly thought that he was going to have a child with Janice. A DNA test in February of that year had let him off the hook, so he ended his engagement to Janice. Despite a brief hook-up with model Angie Everhart, he rekindled his relationship with Jennifer to the extent that they got married in 1997, had three children then temporarily split up in 2022 before resuming again. As for Kelly, her next husband’s duration was from 2007 to 2008. No more husbands for her.

A Capuchin habit is a brown tunic that the Capuchin Friars wear. The word had inspired an Italian one, cappuccino. Brittany Murphy’s T-shirt features the Japanese poster for Black Belt Jones (1974). It is a blaxploitation movie starring Jim Kelly. His final film, Afro Ninja, came out in 2009 but this photo was taken on November 8, 2007. The event was a West Hollywood party that was set up to commemorate the ninth anniversary of Motorola. This date was also the fifth anniversary of a film that was released - 8 Mile starring Eminem. As such, I think that it would have been more meaningful had Brittany Murphy displayed a box of British chocolates called After Eight. Despite being based in California, it shouldn’t have been too hard for her to acquire. Her husband, after all, was an Englishman. This man, Simon Monjack, was present at the event that was called MOTO 9.

Either way, it wasn’t much of a celebration since 2007 was a bummer for both spouses. Simon Monjack had failed to get a film off the ground that would have seen him writing and directing Brittany Murphy i.e. The White Hotel. It was about an opera singer who seeks the help of Sigmund Freud because she is plagued by dreams of a white hotel. 2007 was meant to mark the release of a Japanese-financed film that Brittany Murphy had co-produced and starred in - The Ramen Girl. Considering that she is half-Italian, it’s most befitting that the film was first screened at the Milan Film Festival circa May 2008. Despite being released in Russian cinemas in October, it was sent straight to DVD in the U.S. circa May 2009. Seven months later, Brittany died. This was the month that marked the release of Afro Ninja in Japan. In Drive (1996), she played a motel owner who was madly infatuated with a black guy.

Brittany Murphy isn’t the only actress to use an ice cream bar to drop hints about her taste in black men. Magnum is the brand that is the main offender, and it’s not like all of their bars come in brown shells. The colour coding is so obvious that the only way to top it would be to show an affinity for an albino by tasting a white chocolate bar sprinkled with frozen strawberry crumbs. The above woman is a Spanish actress named Adriana Ugarte. On her right hand, she has a small tattoo of a black star. Her black co-star is Djedje Apali. Three months before they began filming in July 2014, Adriana took a bite out of a chocolate Magnum on the 25th anniversary of the brand. This was held at Palacio de Santa Coloma in Madrid. Two months later, she attended another Magnum event but one that celebrated the opening of the Room Mate Oscar Hotel. Talk about thinly veiled social commentary.

Back to Brittany Murphy, the Japanese distributor behind The Ramen Girl did not have its back since they committed harakiri by having the film released direct to DVD in January 2009. This would have made sense if the film was about a white Hare Krishna. Japan is where the phrase “Death before dishonour” comes from, but I can’t help but think that Brittany Murphy self-destructed by marrying the ugly Jewish guy. Simon Monjack wasn’t just ugly in appearance but he had a bad reputation. Simon died five months after she did. They married in April 2007 - eight months after Brittany broke off her engagement to Joe Macaluso. Before Joe, she was previously engaged to her manager: Jeff Kwatinetz. I’m beginning to think that her desire to marry a non-black guy was a way to protect her male black friends from being hindered by jealous others who saw them as competition.

Actress Eva Longoria had a mixed race boyfriend named Tony Parker. He is not half Chinese like Tiger Woods, but half white. Their above photo was taken in 2006 at an event that was co-hosted by Entertainment Tonight and People Magazine. It was the annual after party for the Emmy Awards. As for the Magnum event, the mini-mags were being advertised at a Four Seasons Hotel in Mexico circa late April 2008. There was another Magnum event that she was photographed at but this was many years later. In fact, two decades later i.e. 2023. Instead of Mexico, the country was France. The event was the Cannes Film Festival. A V.I.P. list of celebrities were able to dip their Magnums in vats of different syrups at the so-called Magnum Cannes Beach.

About the below Spanish actress, Blanca Suárez was seen with an unidentified black man at a Jimmy Barnatan concert in Madrid on October 30, 2013. Blanca has done enough sex scenes to suggest that she is a minx in real life. In the below right photo, the hashtag translates to unleash the beast. What was being advertised was the Magnum Double. A fitting name for the double entendre. The event was held at the ME Madrid Hotel.

At a later Madrid event, Blanca chose to forego the phallus symbol by simply standing in front of a similar background. The event was a presentation party at the Palacete de Fortuny. Perhaps actresses should promote race car drivers so that they can make a kinky pun about burning rubber, but replacing the chocolate with bubblegum. There’s also the promotion of equestrians where a joke could be made that the men are so well-hung that a horseshoe could be worn as a c*ck ring.

In the below left photo, singer Akon was initiated into the world of Indian culture by Kareena Kapoor (more specifically in Mumbai). This was circa March 2010. The context was a news conference for a Bollywood superhero movie called Ra.One (2011). Akon wasn’t going to act in the film but he was going to contribute to the soundtrack by lending his voice to a couple of songs. Kareena Kapoor found herself promoting Magnum on three separate occasions. In the chosen photo, she presented it at a high end hotel in New Delhi on February 18, 2015.

The other two events took place in Mumbai on separate Februarys - 2014 (the day after Valentine’s day) and 2016 (on the 25th). About the latter, Kareena said: “I am thrilled that I get to introduce Mumbai to Magnum Brownie this year. This new flavour brings together my two favourite things - brownies and cashew nuts in one single delicious bar. I am a true Magnum loyalist at heart, and it just makes me incredibly happy to know that anytime I am in an indulgent mood, I have a variety of Magnum flavours to choose from.”

In spitting distance of the spite that is usually aimed at black people by characters in Chinese films, Li Bingbing must be at odds with her brethren and sistren for showing so much effervescence in the company of a black tribe in Kenya circa May 2013. As for the mandatory Magnum shot, it was taken in Shanghai circa April 2015. It’s impolite to eat and talk at the same time but holding the microphone and stick subconsciously advertise the ability to literally handle two men.

Ironically, it was another Chinese actress who was being accused of having a thing for black men. In 2021, Li Chun was hounded online for having a queen of spades tattoo displayed above her left ankle. That’s the place where other BBC-loving women place their QOS tattoos. There is having a tramp stamp, and then there is having a tattoo where you would place a shackle. The back of the knee would have been better so as to not interfere with the publicity departments of fashion and the arts, but then having a tattoo is like wearing clothes - it’s about communicating what you are about. Li Chun implied that she was tattooed as a poker fan, but if that was true then she would have an adjoining queen of hearts tattoo. I’ve seen my fair share of QOS ankle tattoos, and Li Chun’s is too big to go unnoticed.

Brittany Murphy, below, didn’t need to have a tattoo because she was famous enough to get attention in another way - just by simply having her photo taken with many black guys so as to communicate to the black guys whom she did want. I don’t know the identity of the below black guy but I know the names of the other famous black guys who she was pictured with. In 2002 (the year that her rap movie was released), Brittany was seen with P. Diddy, Donald Faison, Eddie Griffin and Chuck D. In the month that 8 Mile had come out, she appeared in an episode of Saturday Night Live where she acted alongside Garrett Morris, Tracy Morgan, Nelly and Dean Edwards. It remains to be seen if SNL UK will have that many black celebs appearing alongside each other.

In the above photos, Brittany Murphy went to the Kabaret Club in London. The date was June 30, 2005. One of the guests was a black actor from America. His name is Tyson Beckford, and he was primarily known as a model. What made him stand out was his ethnic heritage because his father was half Jamaican and half Chinese. One of the last times that Brittany posed with a black guy for a photo was in January 2006 during a menswear runway show for a company called Dsquared. He’s not someone whom I recognize, and it doesn’t help that no-one has put a name to the face. Anyway, the event took place in Milan. He looked like an old-fashioned gentleman, not too dissimilar to Chris Eubank. He was a unique British boxer. Speaking of black boxers, Muhammad Ali got to meet Brittany in 2004. She looked ecstatic.

The final time that Brittany was snapped with a black guy in 2006 was with Chris “Ludacris” Bridges on August 20 in Universal City, California. They were presenting the Choice Hottie award at the 8th Annual Teen Choice Awards in the Gibson Amphitheatre. I’ve never seen Brittany look as effervescent with her Jewish husband as she did with the above and below black guys. The below black guy is an American football player named Keyshawn Johnson. The photos were shot in 2005 - the same year that she was shot with Morgan Freeman and Chris Lane. The latter acted in a 2008 Kevin Hart film called Something Like a Business. It was meant to be released in 2009 but it got delayed to 2010 where it was unceremoniously sent to disc shelves.

Brittany Murphy experienced a fall from grace by not having The Ramen Girl released in 2007. She had no other film come out that year. The Getty Images site makes this descent glaringly steep. In 2006, she could be seen in over two thousand photos. In 2007, less than five hundred. In 2008, less than four hundred. In 2009, less than two hundred. When Brittany died on December 20 in 2009, two of her released movies were only shown on television. Two other movies hardly fared much in the way of better. One had a limited theatrical release whereas the other, the ominously titled Deadline, was released direct to disc on the first day of December. At least she wasn’t dismembered.